December has got to be the busiest month of the year. With Christmas and holidays and meeting up friends and family.

This has been the first day I had to truly relax and stay at home, reading, watching TV , sleeping.

I've had my results back, not as great as I would like, but its still ok. I do have rather high expectations after all.

The past few days just whizzed by, going to church for the two days I've been home. Look at how thousands of candle lights light up a hall that is otherwise pitch black! And That's the way to do it. Lighting up darkness, one candle flame at a time.

2008 comes knocking on my door too soon. What a year this has been! Somehow, it didnt seem as significant. Like, there wasnt a huge Punch when I looked back. A slurry of events that happened, but yet the image remains like frosted glass.

Looking back, I realised I'm glad Not for the things that happened, but really, for the people that I've come to known.

Hong Kong made me realised how incredibly blessed I am to have a bunch of Goof balls as my friends. How rare to have friendship at this level after 10 years. Ten years!



And university.

How do I start? Knowing UB people must be one of the turning points of my life! Everyone I've known is star struck awesome in their own ways! Like they say, a rainbow is beautiful cause of all the different colours in it.

But amongst them, two people really stood out.

Bryan, who shown me that , relationships goes beyond talent and hardwork. This is a guy who, once he sets his mind to something, doesnt stop until he's the best! And I do mean the best. From him, I saw that courage to follow one's heart, and how it pays off.

Many people would take the conventional way. Take a degree, get a job. It pays. But he chose to pursue photography, just caused he liked it. He didnt expect it to really pay off I guess, but he wanted to learn, to be good.

I wont say how much he earns. But its an impressive amount.
And it came from passion! Working for passion, not money.
That inspires me.



And then, there's Malorie.

Many people see her as talented and smart. Brains and looks to boot. Music and science and literature personified.

But perhaps the thing that struck me most, was how strong you are. Having known you, probably changed me in a way, that even I might not know. Your courage, gives birth to new hope in other people. Seeing you strong enough to have walk through your valley. It gives me courage you know. That I know I can be strong enough to walk through mine, and any that is to come.




And of course Church!

I had the privilege of knowing all the people in Yellow house! The fervency and love for God, overwhelms me. The guys that slept in the same room with me, Tidus, Simon and so many more that I have not mentioned. You guys wont read this i think, but but but. The camp was fun, because of you. The dancing to music, the sabo, the deciding of where to sleep! I miss camp all over again.

And of course there's team leaders! Yixuan, whoes favourite word is flow! And Jocelyn, our SUPERHERO!

We're the only house that met so much, and gelled so strongly, and its really all cause of her.

Oh! And how can I forget JEN! Who made supper fun-filled-overflowing!
And Fenky! Who showed me patience.

Lastly, definitely it would be E444.

Through the camp, Christmas.... Guys. You all have grown.
And its from glory to glory indeed.
Through the mad tiredness, we went through! And we went through it together.

Sticks bundled together, thread intertwined.
If one single person can make a difference.
Just imagine.
One cell group can make history.

Of course. What I am would really be nothing without my family! Who made me who I am! Literally! haha


God is good.

Jen thinks I write well!!

haha

Oh, and Joce thinks how can I possible write well when my spelling is horrible?

Which reminds me of Louis who likes to corrects Huanxin's spelling

Which at this point of time makes me realize that maybe blogging about HK would be more interesting for you guys to read.

BUT! Its gonna take AGES! And its Christmas EVE!

Its a day of lazing in bed, sleeping, and not doing anything.

So I'm gonna ramble and tumble and not write any sensible thing in general.

I'm supposed to jog, but my alarm didnt go off.

ok! Bye !

hahaha

In a matter of hours, I'll be off on my holiday!

It seems really fast, just a few days ago I said bye cause I was going camp, and now its HONG KONG BABY!

Anyway, I really wanna stay in Singapore as well, what a tearing feeling.

E444, go out there and do your thing ok? YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!

E Triple Four Sccrreeeaammmmm!!!

hahaha

Joo, sorry I cant be around for your birthday. I realise we've never celebrated B4! I'll make it up to you!!

Weifen, remember ok? FIFTEEN JAN! Must be before that!

Junyu, Thanks for making the cards! Make the Birthdays HAPPENING ah, Mr Birthday Coordinator.

Ok, I cant go one by one, so ALL YOU REST OUT THERE, I'm gonna MISS YA ALL

Oh, Jhonny! Please dont get influenced and disallow Women to talk in public! LOL

Any Bryan! I wanna borrow camera! Stop working so hard and enjoy LIFE! hahaha

okok I'm off I'm off!!


Oh, let me include this extract before I leave.

" I slipped the picture back where I found it. Then I realised something: That last thought brought no sting about it. Closing Sohrab's door, I wondered if this was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night. "

Yup. Forgiveness buds with pain slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.
The last thought brought no sting.

Man do I have a story to tell.

The lack of pictures dampens my spirits though, I realise now that, hand phone cameras just do not cut it. I think having a camera at camp would have proved another gelling point in cell group.

Camp breakaway.

How can I describe it. I never understood, what breakthrough really meant, in a sense.
But camp breakaway, was a breakthrough for me.

I guess, a breakthrough means, doing things you never thought you could, going on even when you're tired, reaching a new level, changing the limits you set in your mind.

I guess breakthrough also means, when you see a dream come to pass.

It really isent something you can read or listen and understand, you have to feel it. Experience it.


To meet so many people, fervent in their love for God and people. It just blew me away. I saw how the leaders slept so little, just planning and planning, making sure everything is alright.
And i understood, why God used the word serve.

Sometimes people get caught up with the idea of a cell group leader. How glorious right? To be able to impact and influence people's lives. Who wouldnt wanna be one? People would respect you, admire you.

But with that, they miss out how, behind the scenes, the leaders plan for months. They sleep 3 hours a night. They juggle the stress of safety and fun. They ensure everyone is included. They deal with people telling them, they are doing the wrong things.

Cell group leaders lead, not for the glory, but for the serventhood.

If you're a Christian under a cell group in this place, always love your leader, always respect them. It really is a sacrifice.


I got crowned superhero of my house! Haha, not bad eh? My purple cape is on the top of my shelf, along with my newcomer award hahaha!

Oh! another occasion in the camp is definitely SHOOTING STARS!!

I dont know what occasion it was, but we saw 8 that day! Its the first time I've seen a real shooting star at night, and for the rest of us as well. You can guess how excited we were!

And they just streak across the sky. One blink, one lack of attention, and you'd have missed it!

How perfectly in season, considering we just heard " seizing your critical moment "

And I couldn't have asked for better company. All the way from a old 22-yr-old man like to me, to young 14 year old kristin. It goes to show, friendship has no age limit.

Its Hong Kong tomorrow! The city of the night. That, there will be pictures I promise. Ok tudios! I'm off to give aphro a much hate bathe!

Camp breakaway is in One day!!

I really hope there would be good weather and everything will happen smoothly. There's been so much effort, so much praying.

I need a breakthrough out of certain things in my life. Perhaps last night was a good first step.

I've got enough of everything that maybe losing one wont make a difference.
Although its held a big part of my life the past few months.

But its ok , everything is better in the long run! That's what i learnt!



Hvaen't been praying as much the past few days... Maybe that's why I feel lethargic today. Praying isen't equal to serving no matter how much I serve! Gotta remember that!


Happy Birthday Queenie!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for all the times you queued, all the help you gave, all the times you spent!
Keep loving God with all your heart and soul!

The joy of the Lord if your strength, and it never fails!


Hahhaa, this entry has no format or body or structure. But I dont care!! One more day to camp!!! I'm still thinking if I should drive...


Just a few more weeks to the new year... Man, what a fast year its been.
Feb is coming Wei Fen!! Dont Gooooooooo!!! hahaha
The last few months seemed long though, long and eventful. Still, what doesnt kill me makes me Stronger!


If God can bring me to it, He can bring me through it.

Through it all. I'm sick of the dark tunnel, sick of being pulled back, sick of crippling my wings.
I'm ready to see the light now.
I wanna fly!!

:D

Oh!

Bryan come ROCK MY SOCKS

lol

I want a DSLR for christmas, bryan. Notice how I keep praising you, and reminding you that u have a Spare Camera? LOL

I was browsing the net and came acoss this picture!
Way sweet! Doesnt it bring back memories?

Remember what it was like? To pray like a child?
To have innocence as your shield.

Where you didn't know anything , you have
not experience hurt, or seen an ugly side to the world?

Wont going back in time be sweet?



Then again... moving forward is not that bad
We grow up praying
We go along life praying
We grow old praying



In life, there's only one thing I think we need.
we need to ask.

Is it normal that when you talk to some people, or when you read the things they write, or when you see the way the walk.

You go, whoa, that guy/girl is really proud.

If you think and feel that way. Are you judging?


Haha, I can just go Blah! Who cares.

But that would be pretending, wont it? After all, I cared enough to blogged about it.

:-D

And in the grand scheme of things, I'll rather be real. And mean the things I say.

Including stupid/silly/meaningless things that will cause people to laugh at me! Hahahaha!

Mavis would know what I'm talking about, and Mavis.
I totally REGRET TELLING YOU!!!

Muhahahahaha!!

Oh, and I miss Mel, Jasmine, Johnny, Grace, Jieqi, George and BAOTING!

I miss Joo and and Zhen a Little Bit.

And I'm waiting to bring DA Funk back to Etriplefour! One more week till my holidays

And ANd AND

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Its time to Shout Scream Roar Sing!!!!

Let the mountains tremble
As we set the fields ablaze
Put out your sickle
and harvest your field
Breathe life into dry bones
Walk on Water

Revival.

I'm IN!

This marks a new start, a new opportunity. And I love new beginnings. I don't knowwhere this new path would bring me, but I believe it is going to be GOOD.

I wanna share a story. For those who do not know, when i said I'm in, i meant my church's choir ministry! Its not a simple I wanna sign up and you get in thing, there are auditions that you go to, and then u get selected.

Let's go back to the very beginning. I remember the first time I was asked what ministry I wanted to join, Choir jumped out! But I've never had a good voice, no rhythm, no tone. To me, I cant sing! But I would really like to.

But how does a person who cant sing join the choir right? That's like, asking Micheal Jordan to play soccer. I didnt share this with anyone before, but I was afraid, afraid that I would fail, and be rejected. So why try? And I remembered then, i went to help out at JAMS church. That's church for the intellectually disabled. And I was pretty blown away by the people, and how much sacrifice they could give.

I thought, Hey! Maybe this is where I belonged. And I could see myself helping out, and serving there. But you know this nagging feeling you always get? I always had it. But i went ahead and signed up for JAMS anyway.

Weeks passed and they never got back. Looking back, maybe its God's way of steering me to the place where I wanted to go? Godly desires are from God after all.

I reached a place where I thought, you know what, I want to join choir, I want to join it more then JAMS. And I should give it a shot. Even if I dont get in, I know I tried. I wanna overcome my fear, my insecurity and simply follow my heart.

I read this somewhere, I think from Yanbing's blog or msn or something. It says, Victory is won from the inside out. Overcome what's in your heart, and things around you change.

I know getting in is not that difficult. But to me, it spells a victory. Cause beneath my proud and conceited exterior, I'm more insecure then most people think. (sounds familiar) But! I know one thing, I pray and I love God. And I know he watches over me. SO no matter how insecure, how much a loser, how unworthy I THINK I am. I KNOW I'm not.

If the most powerful being ever thinks I am worthy, who am I to think I am not?

Right now, I almost feel as though I can walk on water.
And I'm gonna try.

What's to stop me?

When was the last time you had the audacity to try something you never believed you could do?

Its ten! I shall blog one entry before settling down to study for math. Once again, the world amazes me at how, although it is the same physically, it differs from for every single person.

I'm currently on msn with three different people, at three different stages of their lives. It amazes me, honestly. We are all human, but why is our world so different from the rest?

Talker one is telling me how she sometimes wishes she can be like me, then suddenly drifts to how she must put her marriage on hold. And I go thinking, whoa, she's only been dating for just over a year and she's thinking of marriage? Her reply goes like that, my MR right ba.

Isent is nice to hear people who still believe in that? Still, different eyes see the world differently. She's only 21! I personally think thats kinda young to get married. Still.

Ok second is Huanxin, how can anyone just chuck everything aside? And focus so much on studies, and career and an awesome future? Its as though he never gets hit by emotional problems, emptiness or anything! Its just study hard, get honors, and soar in ur career.

How does he do it?

Third is Joshua. Once again planning hard so that everything would go smoothly in cell group, in service, in church. He belongs to a grp of people so passionate about God and church, I feel like a wilting flower in comparison. Just so hungry for more for what they can do for God.


This three people seemed like the core beliefs of my life. God, Success ( work ) , Love.

I guess my perfect would be like a triangle, with me in between. Along the way though, it seems like I would always tilt to one end and neglect the other. One end would edify me, while another would consume me. While I am succeeding in in work, i seem to be tortured by the lack of God or love, and it works in all three ways.

I like work, for how it lets me forget everything. For how it makes me feel proud, knowing that I can hold my head up high and how it makes people look up to me. I like how when i succeed in school, I get a bright outlook of how my work life, and money life is gonna be like.

I like Love, for how it can make me feel happier beyond all sensible boundaries. How it makes me feel the world is beautiful, how it makes me wanna run and shout and tell the everyone I know, what an awesome feeling it is.

I love God, for how when work and love and the world fails. He's always there. How when i feel down and out and useless, I know I am not. The last refuge, the eagle's wings.


I want my life to be like a sepia toned photograph of a guy and a girl sitting on their balcony, which faces the sea, watching the rising of the sun. With hints of shadows, of the angels watching over them.

The time is now 620am, 9th of november. It is a friday, and the morning is not yet here. The glow ina distance, hints at the rising of the sun.

I want to remember this time for life.

Because I've just had a nightmare.

Its not a dream of witches and demons chasing me. It's worse.

In my dream, I realised everything I lived for and everything I believed in. A story that I've heard, a person that I believed. It turned out to be a lie. In the dream, I was the only one oblivious to it all. I was the only one, who didnt know the truth.

In my dream, I saw a lie that festered and came to life. A situation that I've been dreading, finally approaches.

And in my dream, I broke.

And I know now, at this moment right here. I need to refocus, My nose and eyes needs to be faced skyward once again.

It was so real. The kind of dreams that did not drift from scene to scene. Each scene made sense. No, I cant promise myself that the situation or event or day would not come. But I know I can make myself stronger today. I know that the fingers curled around a desire can uncurl and let go.

In my dream, I broke.

For the first time in my life, I woke up scared and stayed that way.

In my dream, I broke.

I say No.

In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke through the darkness and lifted me
And I know you'll never let me go

In the storm in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
And I know you'll never let me go

Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
Your love I will follow
Be my guide, your will be done
Oh Lord

In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
And I know you'll never let me go

Oh love I surrender, now forever I'll be loved
In the love of the father, you are faithful you are strong
So hold me now, hold me now, hold me now

Nothing in this life has walked these streets
Love opened my eyes show me what you see
And I know I'll never let you go

Dear you

I dont know what to say or how to say it. Its hard. But music never fails does it?
Would you listen and read?

"Become"

There's so much more about you that you never let them see
You turn away
But not to me
And I know how they tried to take you
Held you up and meant to break you down
But you can't be

For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

Brush back your hair and look around you
Feeling like the truth has found you here
You're here with me
Let love become the mirror
With no fear where you're from
You have become beautiful

If you only do what you can do then you're only ever going to do what you can do!
But, if you start to do what you cannot do, you'll find you can do what you cannot do.

And what you absolutely cannot do, God will do, or a team of incredible people will, who are attracted to the person attempting to do what they cannot do.

Don't imagine God will ask you to do what you can do! He asks you to do what you can't do.
Then you'll need Him to do it! But you're the one who starts the impossible dream.

No-one, not even God, gets inspired by the mediocre.
Attempt the impossible, ignore the critics, attract the best, accomplish the unbelievable!


Don't you love this sentence. No one, not even God gets inspired by mediocre.
Inspire.
I like this word.

So this week, a discussion of platonic relationships came up. A case of man vs woman, sex vs friendship, Harry vs Sally. It got me thinking once again. ( big surprise there huh? ) Curiosity set up camp, and I just had to know. Could it really be? For those who don't know what it is. Platonic relationship is described as thus.

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is a non-sexual affectionate relationship, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual (i.e. overtly romantic) friendship.

But Wait! There's more.
At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on lack of interest but on spiritual transmutation of the sex force, opening up vast expanses of subtler enjoyments than sex.

( ok from this point on, I thought it's kinda bull, but well, its part of the explaination. )

In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness ( phft ) that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friendships are beautiful, wonderful things. You’ll see. :)

I borrowed this off my friend's blog. A believer I would say. Nina; my English teacher, said Harry met Sally is a movie about a platonic friendship between two people. Another believer?

I pondered over the movie for a while. Why did Harry end up loving Sally? Why did Sally made love to Harry when they were still friends. When they had sex as friends, they said it was the biggest mistake they could have make, and yet, looking back. Was it not the thing most right that they could have done?

In the movie, Harry started off expressing interest in Sally. Sally was not interested, but hoped for friendship cause he was the only person she knew in New York. Harry does not believe in platonic friendship. They argued over it, and came to no conclusion.

Both went on to have relationships. Harry got married, while Sally got into a non-marriage-commitment relationship ( because she believes all marriages end up with passion dying, and doomed for failure. ) In this we see, Harry believes in marriage, sally doesnt.

Both relationships failed. Harry gives in and decides, what the heck, lets give this friendship a try. They embark on that. During this time, Harry admits he is sad, tries hard, and eventually moves on. Sally says she is not sad over her breakup and that she has moved on. Harry does not seem to think so.

Sally realised her ex was getting married, she cries , and calls Harry over. In a moment of weakness, they kiss and have sex. They both thought it was a mistake. Both avoided each other until New Year's eve, when Harry realized that he did indeed love her. Rushed over, and poured his heart open. So ten years after Harry met Sally, they fell in love, and got together.

Harry Burn's first words come true.

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.


Harry Met Sally wasnt about friendship, it was about love.

Does it matter? No, not really. I'm just stating my stand :-D

Because regarding these things. Really now.

Noone really knows how things would turn out eventually anyway. That privilege is reserved for father time.

Who knows.

There really might be goblins and gnomes in our gardens.
There might really be a talking squirrel.
Or maybe even the tooth fairy.

Being real, is simply just believing hard enough.
And I guess, everything deserves a try at least.
Everything.

I realize that life is moving too fast to blog down!

I realize too that I have a short memory.

There seems to be too many things going on, too many people to talk to, too many memories to remember. I honestly wish two things, that I could multiply the number of persons I have ( imagine ten Chrises ) or I can multiply time! ( imagine 48 hour days )

And i'm pretty sure you guys would prefer the latter :-D

I've teared down the three Japanese kites from my wall. Making way for my new present! Photographs would proceed once its up. I wonder if I should nail it, or should i use those stick on pegs. I fear they might not be strong enough though, but putting holes on my wall? No no no

Anyway, people are funny creatures. As long as I live, I can never truly understand them. How can you be nice one moment, emotional the next, and sensitive yet the next? How can you drift from friends to lovers to friends to enemies and to whatever next?

How can you freak out, and yet fall once again? :-D What a crazy mad world! That's what makes it interesting doesnt it?

How can a person care when she's a thousand miles away? How can a person be gorgeous, write well, posses an amazing voice, pays a killer French horn, have a lovely smile, have the whole world of guys loving her and yet got her heart broken?

How can anyone not love God?

Gee, I foresee one of my oh-so-typical philosophical entries once again. Adolescence. Hahaha

So something interesting happened, two things people said to me got me thinking. Let's go to this first one first.

I said " hey, what happened, are you angry again? " And the reply? " How did you know? How can you tell. "

That got me thinking, am I really able to feel what people feel? Some people get that gift, but for me. Am I really sensing it? Or has it been good guesses so far? A bad read into emotions gets you hurt, as I recently discovered. But what if maybe, it has been a spot-on read?

There are times, when I said to myself, maybe i sensed it wrong. Maybe i'm being too sensitive, ok I'm giving up or ok I'm too sensitive. But after the events, when everything was over, when time revealed his secrets. I find out that what I felt, what I thought another person felt, what I thought caused an event, turned out to be a Yes!

If that's true, wont it be scary? Wont it be sad? If I didnt try for something I belive in? Or if I felt something was wrong and I didnt try to ask and solve it? What if fear stopped me from walking down the dark road, but at the end, it was what I was searching for?

Life should be simpler. Or Maybe I should think less.


Ok second event. Connected to the first. ok, nvm... This I shall not say. Let me be annoying. But its about someone talking about SMSing. And I still feel something doesnt connect, something is not clear, something stirs my insides and I'm left wanting and wondering.


Hahaha, ANYWAY... Lets put some whimsical nonsense here! Introducing................

SMILE SQUAD!!!!!!!!!

Ok, its not that whimsical and not that nonsensical. But hey! There I am in the middle. That's cool enough. Hahahahahahhahaha!!

A new week ahead! Let the fun BEGIN!

I couldn't thank everyone enough for today.

This year has been the most special yet!

I dont have to blog anything down, cause its just one of those days that you know you'll remember for life.

I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain
to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
to believe in me again

I cant walk forward, with my head looking back. To stop some thing from holding you back, the only way is to let go.

God, keep me safe in a crazy world.

Dont ever misread the signs.

No matter how good you think you are at reading them.

Cynicism.

How ironic.

Emo post eh? Just today, I promise.

Its a rainy morning. Grey clouds, cool breeze. Lazy Sunday.

There's something about Sundays that makes it special. Like, its so restful, that on this day, u can sleep and bum and rest the whole day, and you wont feel tired, you wont get the feeling that says, Argh! another day wasted.

Nope, Sunday is official. Spell it r.e.s.t

Which was exactly what i needed.

What a crazy week, what an awesome week too though. But I shall not go into details, hahaha

Anyway, since I am blogging, what's an entry without pictures! Introducing.................................................................................... MY KIDS! Tuition kids that is.





Hahaha, look at how MOTIVATED he is. That's right, i motivate him. Hahahaha



His name is called Desmond. Only Primary 1. ok Next!



Jun Da from China. He was game to take a photo with me. He is super respectful of me! Not like Desmond. Always greet me Lao Shi, and walk me out. Polite eh?



Just Look at that focus! * clap clap clap *

But he's not doing well! I don't understand. I just don't. Ah well, off to the next event! haha

Kelly Chin's BIRTHDAY!





And then, we set out on a perilous journey to Century Square! And contrary to not-as-popular-as-I-would-like belief. It is NOT Square, and NOT a century old.

Hahaha, no no no no * wags finger * dont you dare roll your eyes at me. Hahhahaha!!!

BUT GUESS WHAT!! Argh, the WORSE THING EVER happened when we reached the food court.

Curry Chicken was sold out.

Time stood still. Imagine my surroundings darkening. Not a sound. And an echo sounded out.

" Ah Di Ah, Curry Chicken Mai Wan le. "

Tsk Tsk.

And that was how Saturday had passed. Anyway I just got home from cell group and the message was about Barnabas.

Son of encourager. The message speaks of how we should Always encourage the people aorund us. Which is something I really believe in!

I remember just talking to my brother and telling him how sloppy he looked. I told him, you should sit up, have a good posture and look good! Because when you are outside, people look. Impressions count!

And he went, ahh.. It doesnt matter to me what people think.

Yeah, it shouldn't, and it doesn't! I replied him. But I told him this. It is NOT about what people think of you. When you dress up, when you excel in the things you set your heart upon, when you strive to be the best you can be. You inspire people to do the same. You inspire them to believe that they can be better.

Its not about our own inadequacy. It's about being a candle that brings that flicker of light. Salt that adds flavor to the earth.

I think this quote says it best.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Lovely.

So that ends my weekend. What a week eh?

Through the seven days though. Friday kinda stood out.

A perfect morning, a perfect afternoon.
It felt like a bubble amidst the craziness of this world.

A wacky new week ahead! Let me be, I pray. The manifestation of God's glory.

To me, I wont say I am too into music. I'm not too into photography. I'm not too into literature.

They are awesomely cool though... And I wished that I could tell people that I did know something about them. That I knew something about the theories or music, or how the light blends and make perfect angles. I wish I could discuss the how certain of authurs could bend and twist emotions.

I'm not Into these things, but I love them! I love the music, literature and photography because in them, I get to look at the world through the eyes of another. To get a whole new perspective!

When I listen to music, sure! I enjoy the melody, but more often then not, I notice the lyrics. When I look at pictures, I dont just think, hey , this looks cool, it looks clear and crisp.

I like the emotions photography brings, I like the stories behind it.
( eh Joo? haha )I like imagining, if I was there at that moment, what would I feel? What would i do?

And in that context. I Especially love books. What better way to live the life of another, through words.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here, let me show u what i mean. Get the message :D

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives

I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All these images are from http://www.pulitzer.org/. They were the winners for featured photography and breaking news phatography.

Wounded in an aerial bombing of Baghdad and seeking aid, Iraqi civilians raise their hands pleadingly toward advancing troops of the 3rd Infantry Division. (Photo by David Leeson)























After three weeks and 300-plus miles of speed-and-maneuver warfare, Master Gunnery Sgt. Frank Cordero savors the first letters from his wife, Melissa. "I held that first one for about five minutes...Just to smell it and hold it." (Photo by Cheryl Diaz Meyer)





















Squad leader and Staff Sgt. Lonnie Roberts stands at attention as troops from the 3rd Brigade Combat Team pay last respects to their fallen comrade, Pvt. Gregory Huxley, during a memorial for the 19-year-old in Baghdad. (Photo by David Leeson)






















Baghdad - The mother of Samah Hussein grieves over the body at a Baghdad morgue. The boy was among 12 people reportedly killed by a suicide car bombing outside the U.S. military's Camp Cuervo. (Photo by Samir Mizban, June 13, 2004.)























Fallujah - U.S. Marines pray over a fellow Marine killed while fighting insurgent strongholds. (Photo by Murad Sezer, April 8, 2004.)



The story of a mother

















































































































































































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Love and sadness, peace and war, joy and agony. The laughter of play, and the turmoil of death. You've almost seen it all, through pictures, through song, through words.

There. You've been in and out of Love, you've seen a war, you've lived the life of a mother with a dying child.

What's your life I wonder. You who is reading this. I wanna know!

There is one more picture though. I saved this for last. It's named...

Treasure this Hope.

Such slick moves.

Haha, i lose!

and i'm out of this game.

Its been fun and complicating whilst it lasted.

But a rollercoaster's only fun that many times.

Oh, and i love my cell grp members, if only we could get to fellowship more.

Love and sacrifice, dreams and encouragement, fire and revival.
Upon your shoulders
upon your hearts
upon your spirit and soul
upon every part.

I know that sometimes when you fail tests, you got to retake them.

But I made that choice, I made that right one!

Why do i keep retaking it?

and why does it get harder each time?

I'm sick of it. Sick at how hard it gets. Why must doing the right thing always be this hard?

Geez. Whatever.

so a TON of things have been happening.

School started
Mel left for canada
Joo graduated
we merged with E110
SOTM is finished
BT is pregnent


tons of big event, tons of memories. A great big ending to somethings, a promising new start to another.

I guess I've not been blogging alot cause, i've had people around me to release my emotions and thoughts, and I didnt have any residue feelings or burdens in my heart to release online.

And yeah, not that there's alot of things bad/good that has happened, but there has been alot of ppl around for me to plough forward with.

I've gotten to know a few new friends recently, some totally new, some i've seen around. I'm excited to see where these new relationships bring me, spiritually, mentally, and well, friendshipwise!

I love knowing new people, entering a whole new world, a whole new perspective, a whole new outlook. For new friends in church, i love seeing how different people love a similar God...

And I like the inspiration these people bring. Evan, joshua, wendy, queenie and basically the E110ians. I esp love Evan. She's really one of the most giving persons i know, honest. I can really understand how joshua and queenie can be such giving people! They have an awesome example to follow...

Anyway, you know how ppl have various weaknesses right? These weeks, have really been a test and a challenge on my weakness. A tough test, that keeps recurring and recurring.

But like what Dave( if i'm not wrong ) said. Sometimes, you just got to Forcfully go the Distance. And when your flesh says I wanna give up. Let your spirit say Let's go on for just ONE MORE DAY.

One by one I'll get there... And what I give up, surely God will make up for it. And i really sincerely do believe that.

Today, I saw someone dear came to church... i saw a little bit of my prayers answered
today :-) To you who know who you are.

It's so tough, but let's go the distance. let's go through this together!

All it takes is one look, and you can never really forget.

So anyway i was reading seowchean's blog and she blogged a testimonial. So I shall too!!

As u all know, and in case u dont. I love Chicken Curry noodles. I LOVE them. And My favorite one is the Bedok interchange one.

You know, where they chop the chicken. The other one i know is at marina square food court. I wish i was those food bloggers kind then i can take picture show u all...

So anyways. I was craving for chicken curry noodle a few weeks back, and telling everyone about it. And i cheekily said to God, Ahh.. wont it be great if i could have chicken noodle right now? Oh God I wanna eat chicken curry noodle man!

You know how it is. You chit chat with the great divine daddy-o . And you tell him what u want.

Well guess what! A bowl of chicken curry noodle just appeared at my kitchen! It must have flown from heaven!! Not.

You're probably expecting something like, my mom out of the blue buy the chicken curry noodle for me right?

Weelll... no. Actually nothing happened. I did get to eat to noodle, but i traveled to marina square for it. And so... I forgot about the fact i was asking God for it.

Until last week.

When i realised that....................................................................................... * long pause *

A. Curry. Chicken. Noodle. STORE OPENED AT YIO CHU KANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Check that out.

Its 2.18, and i couldnt get to sleep.

I wonder if anyone's still up? Of course, in this time and age, i could just check msn.

Let's see, I have 26 "friends" online.

But none whom i feel like talking to. Gee, I'm really bored.

There's two pillows on my bed and one quilt and one blanket.

A total of 5 books are on my table now.

I'm using a JBL speaker and a Macroview moniter.

I have a miniature salt and pepper schnauzer named aphro.

It's a she.

I love Aphro.

Ya'all reading this better love her too.

Haha, good night.

Noone stood beside behind above or beneath me.
But one stood right in front
that i could not contain it anymore
for the love overflowed
and the things of the world faded away

You know, its been a long time since I've truly blogged an emotion filled entry. But today, I just felt I had to.


I've been going church for 1 year going on two now. I wont say that's a very long time, but its a long enough time for me to know most of the songs, to know the styles of preaching, to know the system of what comes next. It's long enough to make me feel confidant, to make me know the 'methods' and 'signs' of a healthy cell grp. Its a long enough time for me to know when there's a mistake done on stage, and its a long enough time that I know or feel if the spiritual atmosphere is good or not.


Its a long enough time for me to know all these things.
It's a long enough time for me to get used to all these things.



but



it was also a long enough time, to forget what coming to church meant to me...



And today... as pastor prayed, I remembered.



I remembered how it felt, when i first came to know God, the first weeks when i worshiped God. How i didnt not know the words, the lyrics, the sequence, the moves. How I must have seemed like the most awkward and wierd person there, beating the jump beat and jumping when i was not supposed to.

But back then... I knew the love I had for Him, and I knew the love He had for me... My mouth might not have been loud and my singing might not confidence, my jumps and claps might have been out of beat. But in my heart, I was worshiping with such joy, such love!


And i remembered the tears that flowed. The tears that flowed, not because someone back slided and I was sad. Not because I felt my burdens lifted up by God, Not from or of the bad things that seem to happen in my life.


I felt the tears flow because, God was so near! Because I felt so close to him, my tears flowed because I was touched... That at that moment, at this moment, there wasnt a person on my left or right, there wasnt a person in front or behind me anymore...



But it was just us....... Just me and Him...



And things that seemed to matter so so much.
Would just became so so small.


Somehow, along the way, I seemed to have forgotten all these...


But it came back... and i remembered...


Me and abba. That's all that matters, really.

TAKE ME TO THE PLACE

WHERE THE SPIRIT OF GOD IS

HOLY GHOST, EMPOWER ME

RUN WITH THE GOSPEL

I'LL CARRY REVIVAL

THE LOVE OF CHRIST

WILL SET YOU FREE

Song title: Oceans Will Part

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand

Oceans will part, nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise, glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand

Jasmine Tan, take a break :-)

See it to belive it

Jasmin Tan Fusion, this is for you. Haha enjoy

Your smiles, your pearly whites
Your words, ah the delight!
Like Red roses,
gorgeous to see
Hidden thorns, ugly glee


Why then admire,
Why then touch?
Why bother? When it draws fresh blood?
The pain though not immense,
hurts the heart, oh the Heart!


Why then admire?
Why then touch?
Why bother? When it draws fresh blood?


Cause a gardener I am,
and dear plant, you're my friend.


That's why I admire,
that's why I touch.
That's why I bother,
though it sometimes hurts the heart.


Because I believe. Oh yes i do.
That one day you would bloom
One day, one day soon
A day in a bride's loving hands,
lovely and beautiful,
with no more thorns pricking,
No More, amen.

MAVIS GOT ME FRIENDS DVD SERIES!!

AHH!!!

Mavis. I love you.

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said,"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group was called The BEATLES.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency,told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married." She went on and became MARILYN MONROE.

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." He went on to become the most popular singer in America named ELVIS PRESLEY.

When ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"

When THOMAS EDISON invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."

In the 1940s, another you ng inventor named CHESTER CARLSON took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down.
In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! He finally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today.

WILMA RUDOLPH was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg.
At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle.
That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

The Moral of the above Stories : Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS!

- an email from angel low date july 22nd 2002 -


Never Quit.

Love

I wanna blog about love.

I hit my dad's car today. And the rear light casing broke. And i had to tell my mom and dad. You know, i imagined how badly I would be scolded but they were pretty understanding bout it, haha thank God.

And word got out that my car was hit. The messages came pouring in. And you know what. I really felt loved.

I remembered when I first stepped into W171. I was told, this is a cell group that loves. It wasnt a Dreams and visions and lets go to war and kill the devil cell group. It was a love cell grp.

Loving God is only half of the great commandment. You can love God to the greatest and best you can. But if you dont love the people around you, regardless of how they are.

Whats the point? No matter how much u love God, it'll only be at fifty percent max.


Jun yu- your actions really speak louder then words could, your enthusiasm, your passion, it stirs me up. And the way you showed your concern for me really shows how much u care.

Kelly, junyu, seow chean, bing, colin and anyone else who messaged me that i might have forgotten. Thanks.

" Noone cares how much you know. Until they know how much you care. "


I happened to read through getting started. And one point jumped out, " you need encouragement to grow. "

Here's mine