What's a lie? What's real?
This is my last duty for the rest of my life. And I think I might miss it.
Where else would I ever have, a full day to myself. Doing nothing. The perfect reason of rejecting every single thing that comes my way? To roam my dreams, to live my life in books, to inquire within myself, my soul, what who and how I am?
Where else would I have time to blog?
I realise that, its been a long time since i've been depressed, or sad or empty. I wonder if anyone knows what its like to feel that way? That my life's filled to the very brim of its limit, that i havent had time to think noone loves me or no one cares.
Is that it? That my life's fufilled? Or are the many many things just pushing away any problems i might face?
Ah, problems. I had the priviledge recently of hearing these. And how i realise that once again, the happiest, most confidant people in the world, would once again have their skeletons, their dark closets.
But one thing about her. She Chose to move on. She chose to let it go. In a situation not unlike once I went through. And I think that's what conforms so-called strength. The choice made, to move on, to say I'm sick and tired of feeling how I feel.
I toss it away. Just like that.
" You mean you did that? Just like that? Your will-power's so strong! "
No, its not. What's it like walking on glass shards? Whats it like swimming it fire?
No, i'm not strong. I just do what I needed to do!
" I'm not as strong as you, I dont have your will power."
Yes. You do! You're stronger then I ever was! You just need to stop seeing how deep the ocean is, you need to stop thinking the fire's too hot.
Look and see, look and see, look and see. Past the obstacles, is Home.
And you're gonna be home free. To run and soar and roar!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you see homework? Boring lectures, tiring projects?
Or do you see a $15000 job, a huge house, a beautiful car?
Do you see the hot sun, the 20km run, the panting and sweating?
Or do you see sexy?
Do you see judgement, rules, sacrifice?
Or do you see heaven and love?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is hope!
It is the essence of my life.
Hope is the ingredient of my mind
that will ease most of my strife.
Hope helps me see the sunshine
through the darkest clouds of the day.
Hope is my driving force
the reason I pray.
Hope helps me see rainbows in the hardest of rain
Hope helps soothe my heartaches
to relieve some of my pain.
Hope looks for the silver cloudswhen a dream I had is gone
Hope helps me believe there will be a brighter dawn.
Hope gives me strength to trod onwhen the struggle seems in vain.
Hope keeps pushing meto keep trying; again and again.
Hope helps pick me upeach time that I am blue.
Hope helps me figure it outwhen I don't have a clue.
Hope is the reason
that I can fight through it all
instead of giving up,and taking a fall.
Hope will keep me going
it will help see me through
willw feb 15, 1998
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
God's Playing FieldSunday, March 25, 2007
Yeah
I'm sick again! And I dont understand why.
For the past three weeks, I've always had something. Three weeks back, it was a cold. Then last week a bee stung me. Now, I have a fever. Man! Whats going on??
Anyway, its been an awesome weekend, and Junyu got to book out this sat! Haha, I dont know why, but somehow having him around, makes everything seem more complete...
I feel as though, cell group is slowly bonding up. Not like when it started, everyone seemed so distant and uninvolved with everyone else... But this week felt different, as I sat with them all at service, I could feel something substantial , some strong bond building up!
And that feeling's awesome!
I loved what joo shared this week. Yeah, 6 months is almost up... And I still remember the beginning as though it was just yesterday... That phone call we had, the friends that left, how our perfect world seemed to fall apart, bit by bit...
But yeah, I remember. I remember how by the end of BF, its gonna be OK. And its only one month left, what's gonna happen?
Everyone feels the most tired at the last leg of the race. We just Got to carry on. Cause once you cross that finishing line, you're gonna look back, and know and know and know. That it has all been worthwhile.
That line's in sight. The finishing line. Army's gonna be over, BF's gonna be over, my dad's gonna get discharged.
Its a new beginning, a beautiful new start... I wonder how this path is gonna end, where the next one will lead me. But I know ' Everything will flow' in the end.
Everything.
I feel fulfilled :-)
For the past three weeks, I've always had something. Three weeks back, it was a cold. Then last week a bee stung me. Now, I have a fever. Man! Whats going on??
Anyway, its been an awesome weekend, and Junyu got to book out this sat! Haha, I dont know why, but somehow having him around, makes everything seem more complete...
I feel as though, cell group is slowly bonding up. Not like when it started, everyone seemed so distant and uninvolved with everyone else... But this week felt different, as I sat with them all at service, I could feel something substantial , some strong bond building up!
And that feeling's awesome!
I loved what joo shared this week. Yeah, 6 months is almost up... And I still remember the beginning as though it was just yesterday... That phone call we had, the friends that left, how our perfect world seemed to fall apart, bit by bit...
But yeah, I remember. I remember how by the end of BF, its gonna be OK. And its only one month left, what's gonna happen?
Everyone feels the most tired at the last leg of the race. We just Got to carry on. Cause once you cross that finishing line, you're gonna look back, and know and know and know. That it has all been worthwhile.
That line's in sight. The finishing line. Army's gonna be over, BF's gonna be over, my dad's gonna get discharged.
Its a new beginning, a beautiful new start... I wonder how this path is gonna end, where the next one will lead me. But I know ' Everything will flow' in the end.
Everything.
I feel fulfilled :-)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
ALRIGHT!
I have fixed my computer. Finally! I have my personal working computer again. And with INTERNET!
Not the kind that keeps getting cut off, not the kind that I need to wait and pull my hair and wanna destroy kind.
But the real kind. The working Kind. The FAST kind! ARRRrrroooooooooooo! * howls *
And the newest morzilla allows me to upload photos, so lemmi try it out here and now.
I took the off the streets of yishun,two best friends just walking and laughing.
My neighbor is sorely missed
Marielle Yak.. um i mean yap
My first bottle, ahahaha
An ooollddd sentosa outing photo
Ok, i realized how hard it was to actually post photos here... Till I find an wasier way I think thats all for now! Hahaha
Not the kind that keeps getting cut off, not the kind that I need to wait and pull my hair and wanna destroy kind.
But the real kind. The working Kind. The FAST kind! ARRRrrroooooooooooo! * howls *
And the newest morzilla allows me to upload photos, so lemmi try it out here and now.
I took the off the streets of yishun,two best friends just walking and laughing.
My neighbor is sorely missed
Marielle Yak.. um i mean yap
My first bottle, ahahaha
An ooollddd sentosa outing photo
Ok, i realized how hard it was to actually post photos here... Till I find an wasier way I think thats all for now! Hahaha
Saturday, March 17, 2007
BDS
Guess what. I just got stung by a bee!
In camp. While I was pleasantly and innocently reading my 8 days magazine.
And then I heard a TUCK sound, and felt something fell on my back, And I thought Great. Some insect. Suddenly, there was this searing pain on my back, and i swapped that insect thing away, only to notice its a bee.
Ok, for those with experiences with bees. Once a bee stings you, it dies. And it releases a chemical scent that attracts other bees. So I freaked out, grabbed my phone and keys and shirt, and came down to the OPS room, where this computer is.
Yeeeaahhhh.... And I bet my bunk's swarming with bees now. I'm just gonna lie low for about 30mins.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So anyway, the past weeks been fine. Little updates include... Check this out, haha
Mavis went to China.
Junyu went to army.
Kelly has just posted an entry that is ACTUALLY is a full paragraph. ( WooHoo Kel! )
LOUIS HAS A Grlfnireid! Haha, its coded, so it wont seem like I'm spreading some tabloid.
Hahahaha ok its not that new news, but I just feel so proud and happy for him.
Oh, and friends. I need your help. For those of you who knows shi jie. Its time.
As of 16 march 2007 2200 hours. Project LHSLW( Let's Help Shijie Lose Weight ) has began. We have exactly 180days to help him lose 20kilos. That around 120grams a day. For the sake of our 3 swenson's earthquakes. Let's proceed this project with caution and determination.
GUYS! We CAN Make this happen. Lay down your arms with me. For Glory! For Earthquakes! FRIENDS! Forwaaaarrdddd!!!!!!
heh.
Oh. And after days of negotiations and trading of information. I finally to know who that person is! Hahahaha! Weell... It was a pleasant surprise. ( ok, it wasnt REALLY a surprise, but it's definitely pleasant. :-D )
Anyway! Its time to check for bees. Ciao!
In camp. While I was pleasantly and innocently reading my 8 days magazine.
And then I heard a TUCK sound, and felt something fell on my back, And I thought Great. Some insect. Suddenly, there was this searing pain on my back, and i swapped that insect thing away, only to notice its a bee.
Ok, for those with experiences with bees. Once a bee stings you, it dies. And it releases a chemical scent that attracts other bees. So I freaked out, grabbed my phone and keys and shirt, and came down to the OPS room, where this computer is.
Yeeeaahhhh.... And I bet my bunk's swarming with bees now. I'm just gonna lie low for about 30mins.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So anyway, the past weeks been fine. Little updates include... Check this out, haha
Mavis went to China.
Junyu went to army.
Kelly has just posted an entry that is ACTUALLY is a full paragraph. ( WooHoo Kel! )
LOUIS HAS A Grlfnireid! Haha, its coded, so it wont seem like I'm spreading some tabloid.
Hahahaha ok its not that new news, but I just feel so proud and happy for him.
Oh, and friends. I need your help. For those of you who knows shi jie. Its time.
As of 16 march 2007 2200 hours. Project LHSLW( Let's Help Shijie Lose Weight ) has began. We have exactly 180days to help him lose 20kilos. That around 120grams a day. For the sake of our 3 swenson's earthquakes. Let's proceed this project with caution and determination.
GUYS! We CAN Make this happen. Lay down your arms with me. For Glory! For Earthquakes! FRIENDS! Forwaaaarrdddd!!!!!!
heh.
Oh. And after days of negotiations and trading of information. I finally to know who that person is! Hahahaha! Weell... It was a pleasant surprise. ( ok, it wasnt REALLY a surprise, but it's definitely pleasant. :-D )
Anyway! Its time to check for bees. Ciao!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)