Its ten! I shall blog one entry before settling down to study for math. Once again, the world amazes me at how, although it is the same physically, it differs from for every single person.

I'm currently on msn with three different people, at three different stages of their lives. It amazes me, honestly. We are all human, but why is our world so different from the rest?

Talker one is telling me how she sometimes wishes she can be like me, then suddenly drifts to how she must put her marriage on hold. And I go thinking, whoa, she's only been dating for just over a year and she's thinking of marriage? Her reply goes like that, my MR right ba.

Isent is nice to hear people who still believe in that? Still, different eyes see the world differently. She's only 21! I personally think thats kinda young to get married. Still.

Ok second is Huanxin, how can anyone just chuck everything aside? And focus so much on studies, and career and an awesome future? Its as though he never gets hit by emotional problems, emptiness or anything! Its just study hard, get honors, and soar in ur career.

How does he do it?

Third is Joshua. Once again planning hard so that everything would go smoothly in cell group, in service, in church. He belongs to a grp of people so passionate about God and church, I feel like a wilting flower in comparison. Just so hungry for more for what they can do for God.


This three people seemed like the core beliefs of my life. God, Success ( work ) , Love.

I guess my perfect would be like a triangle, with me in between. Along the way though, it seems like I would always tilt to one end and neglect the other. One end would edify me, while another would consume me. While I am succeeding in in work, i seem to be tortured by the lack of God or love, and it works in all three ways.

I like work, for how it lets me forget everything. For how it makes me feel proud, knowing that I can hold my head up high and how it makes people look up to me. I like how when i succeed in school, I get a bright outlook of how my work life, and money life is gonna be like.

I like Love, for how it can make me feel happier beyond all sensible boundaries. How it makes me feel the world is beautiful, how it makes me wanna run and shout and tell the everyone I know, what an awesome feeling it is.

I love God, for how when work and love and the world fails. He's always there. How when i feel down and out and useless, I know I am not. The last refuge, the eagle's wings.


I want my life to be like a sepia toned photograph of a guy and a girl sitting on their balcony, which faces the sea, watching the rising of the sun. With hints of shadows, of the angels watching over them.