I got my results back!!!!!!!

And i did well this semester! Much much much better then all my previous semesters!

But! I'm not done yet! This period has been the creaziestly busy since I've started school, but God is faithful indeed!

New level, new devils though...

Things have been happening although very very little people know about it, and the future seems a little unpredictable ahead.

But I heard an interesting phrase today

" I really thought it was impossible, but when I saw what happened, when I saw the results,
It felt as though God laughed "

And I just want to experience that!
Thinking that something seems impossible to achieve,
and hearing God laugh.

wow.

So anyway! Going PS cafe with Joce tomorrow! I cant wait!! I love the food at PS cafe, and the ambiance is just awesome! It's rare to spend quality time together and I'm gonna savor every single second of it!

Ok! Off to bed!

YELLOW!

Scandalon

I have been wriggling in scandalon, although I did not yet know it.

I dont understand this feeling, this dislike, this dark undercurrent for I cannot find the reason of its existence. But it exists, its there, and it burns.

Weird, weird. The type of burning where with the want to overpower, to simply show who is better.
Well, I already do know of course. But this thing inside, urges me to flaunt it. Be pressed under the thumb.

Not a desire to win, but a dark yearning to crush. Crushed till you can climb back no more.

Dark indeed.

What a dislike for hypocrisy and gossip, espcially when most have looked but do not see.

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Just the thought, burrows my eyebrows.

But! after this, I let it go =)

Where there exists such a feeling.
That everyone wins
but me

And it all comes haunting back at me.
Snarling, growling, crying

God, draw me o draw me away
from the inside out
draw me, o draw me away

Because today I dreamt of the two of you talking, quarreling. I dreamt of you moving on, walking away with a hurt hidden in your heart. Masked by the smiles and covered with a fresh new coat of love.

But the hurt never left, did it?

It just got hidden for a little while ,

as you continue to run away.

You decided not to in the end, and I felt a certain grief coming over me as I woke up. So much so that I had to type this now.

But it is ok. Because someone has to fill this gap, between the living and the dead.

Oh and I really liked the quote that pam posted

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When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest,

I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.

In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God,

I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all.

When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

-C.S. Lewis

It is said that light and darkness cannot co-exist. Just had an interesting talk with a friend today, and I realised how true some things really are. That groups are people would hang out due to similr values, similar dreams , similar character.

And sometimes you get groups of people that just do not click. Thats where all the politics and back stabbing and gossip come in i guess. I am glad that the groups of friends I hang out with doesnt have that. There are no complicated ties or links or gloominess and I pray that it stays that way!

Things are often much clearer looking back. And I'm glad of the choices I made, the people I choose to close in on. And I breathe a sign of relief on the baggage that I left behind. It seems such like such an intricate web of complicated relationships and dark secrets. And like what my first sentence says, the dark cannot co exist with the light.

Happiness and sadness cannot exist together. Emo-ness and being carefree cannot exist together. Letting go means not hanging on. But dont get me wrong, being happy doesnt mean denying that bad things happen to good people. It just means u gotta let. it. go.

But maybe it works that way. Once tainted , you cant ever really go back. Once you lost your virginity, you lost it. Once you had an affair, you scar a life. Once you stabbed a friend in the back, you killed the trust.

And the guilt. Well, you just deal with it the rest of your life I guess.

This post sounds so " no turning back " haha but there is always a second chance of course! There always is.

I like how Carl Bard says it.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now on and make a brand new ending. "

Research says that this image was shown to children. And everyone of them saw only dolphins in the jar. It is because their minds are pure and untainted, which prevents them from seeing the intimate couple that is shown inside.

It goes on to say that people who sees the couple at first glance has "tainted" minds. And only when you focus, will you see the dolphins.

So what did you see?

Dolphins? Or A couple?

If you ask me.

The choice is yours really =)

Narnia!

I finished watching Narnia 2 with Joce yesterday, and it was good. I have a thing for fantasy books and shows that has a children's element in it. Fairy tales in essence!



I like how there might be a whole different world, with fairies and centaurs and dwarfs and elves, and not in the Lord of the rings kind of way, or in the Harry potter kinda way. But in a Narnia, Hans Christian Anderson sort of manner.



Where innocence prevails cunning, and endings are always happy. Whenever I read Harry Potter in the past, I always conjure up a dark background or a gloomy atmosphere. Narnia on the other hand gives me a feeling of hope, friskiness and glee! I like that. Innocent, light hearted reading. Not to mention the old manner of how the english speak. Full of manners and yet oddly snobbish haha.


And there are the quotes. Which always sets me thinking, since we all know this. That sometimes, there are deeper hidden meanings behind each word, each sentence and each book.



There is a huge hidden meaning or rather representation in the Chronicals of Narnia. But I'd rather not spoil the moment for you. Go read it! Maybe you might find something you are searching for in life after all! Maybe hope, maybe joy, maybe innocence. Or maybe even more then all that.


I leave u all with the following =)

"Yes," said Queen Lucy. "In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world." ~TLB