Words and quotes over the past weeks that impacted me.

" Some of you say, its too hard and I wanna give up. But you've only been a COC for two months! "
- Pastor Audrey

Pastor spoke this when we went for a meeting with her. When she said it, it just struck a cord within me. Thoughts of how I'm not good enough, of how some people are so flawlessly natural at this, while here I am struggling.

I'm always wondering if I am doing the right things? And I get worried, because I want my grp to grow, not just in numbers, but spiritually as well. To get to know God in a whole new level. And i've got such good members in my grp. Am I causing them to stumble? Do I seem like I only care about the admin church stuff and not about their lives.

But I love my connect grp members, and its because I'm worried about all these things, I sometimes wonder if I am suitable. Maybe its better if I'm just responsible for my own life. But when pastor said that sentence, it pierced me. Its only been a few months, how can I give up? No no no, I cant. Its a race, I started running it, how can I stop 1/2 way and say I want to quit! I can finish this race well, and I will!


" What would you do, if you knew you were gonna be a BV this week? " - Bel

I heard this yesterday during practice. And it got me wondering as well. What if this week, I had to be a BV, or a cell grp leader, or what if I had to preach on stage. Bel was saying this because during service, some of us didnt know our parts.

If we knew we would be a BV or preach on stage this week, what would happen? We would definitely dress sharply, cut our hair, practice our singing, pray and fast. Can you imagine a backup voalist not knowing his parts?

It really is all about an attitude. Before I become something, I start behaving like one. After hearing that, I feel motivated to practice my singing more, to go shop for clothes, to pray and fast. I feel motivated to really serve with my best, not something sub-standard.

Which goes to the next phrase. Also by Bel.

" Even before you audition, you already are a BV. "

Honestly, I'm not really interested in becoming a BV since it was never in the vision and dreams given to me. What I liked was the underlying meaning behind it. The mindset and the faith. Of how you practice and prepare yourself. How in your mind, you already see yourself being the person you want to be even before it happens.

Even before you enter the examination hall, you already have an A.
Even before you go for an outreach, you see revival.
Even before you lay hands, you see healing.
Even before you go for a competition, you won.
Even before you work, you're a CEO.

Its not saying how you can YAYA Papaya. Like " oei, I'm ceo, no need to come work online. "
Rather, when you're the boss. You lead by example, so you're the earliest in the company. You study early so you can get an A in your exams. You train hard, so you know you can win on the day of the competition.

I feel as though the seeds of faith are being planted in my life this season, and thats the direction I'm being steered towards. And of course, the perfect ending of an entry about quotes, would be to end it with one.

“Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is
still dark.”