"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

Sometimes I wonder if keeping a diary is indeed a good idea or not. Memories are precious if they hold happiness in them, but would you really want to remember the horrible ones? There is one thing I hate about meself. I always look back.

I always look back into the memories of my life and think about What Ifs. What if I had taken another path, what if I did not make a certain choice, what if I had stayed on, what if a million things.

Sometimes people move on so fast they scare me. They really do. I wish I could be more like them really. I wish I could just bite my teeth, bear any pain in my life, Smile, and just move on.

And it Seems like I do. Really. It seems like I move on in my thoughts, in my actions, in how I can laugh and not talk about anything, how life is so happy-go-lucky and busy and filled with activities.

But the truth is, I really care. I care about the relationships I have in the past. I care about the memories that I once hold dear. I care about how it was like in the beginning and how it has all changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed.

I'm emo that way.

I guess seeing W171 together, sparked this all up. You know how everyone has a vault in their hearts, where they throw in memories or thoughts that brings pain sometimes. I guess today's gathering was the pin that pricked the lock.

I miss everyone together. Very much so.


And along in that vault lies another memory. A really painful one that hurts still. Although I pretend it doesnt.

It often starts out with sadness.
Then anger.
Then you realise that anger was just one of the many ways you try to cover the pain.
And you fall back on the pain.

It hurts really. A dry aching in the heart.


But this is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.

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A cg that loves.