simplicity

What's a lie? What's real?

This is my last duty for the rest of my life. And I think I might miss it.

Where else would I ever have, a full day to myself. Doing nothing. The perfect reason of rejecting every single thing that comes my way? To roam my dreams, to live my life in books, to inquire within myself, my soul, what who and how I am?

Where else would I have time to blog?

I realise that, its been a long time since i've been depressed, or sad or empty. I wonder if anyone knows what its like to feel that way? That my life's filled to the very brim of its limit, that i havent had time to think noone loves me or no one cares.

Is that it? That my life's fufilled? Or are the many many things just pushing away any problems i might face?

Ah, problems. I had the priviledge recently of hearing these. And how i realise that once again, the happiest, most confidant people in the world, would once again have their skeletons, their dark closets.

But one thing about her. She Chose to move on. She chose to let it go. In a situation not unlike once I went through. And I think that's what conforms so-called strength. The choice made, to move on, to say I'm sick and tired of feeling how I feel.

I toss it away. Just like that.

" You mean you did that? Just like that? Your will-power's so strong! "

No, its not. What's it like walking on glass shards? Whats it like swimming it fire?

No, i'm not strong. I just do what I needed to do!
" I'm not as strong as you, I dont have your will power."

Yes. You do! You're stronger then I ever was! You just need to stop seeing how deep the ocean is, you need to stop thinking the fire's too hot.

Look and see, look and see, look and see. Past the obstacles, is Home.
And you're gonna be home free. To run and soar and roar!

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Do you see homework? Boring lectures, tiring projects?
Or do you see a $15000 job, a huge house, a beautiful car?

Do you see the hot sun, the 20km run, the panting and sweating?
Or do you see sexy?

Do you see judgement, rules, sacrifice?
Or do you see heaven and love?

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What is hope!

It is the essence of my life.
Hope is the ingredient of my mind
that will ease most of my strife.
Hope helps me see the sunshine
through the darkest clouds of the day.
Hope is my driving force
the reason I pray.

Hope helps me see rainbows in the hardest of rain
Hope helps soothe my heartaches
to relieve some of my pain.
Hope looks for the silver cloudswhen a dream I had is gone
Hope helps me believe there will be a brighter dawn.
Hope gives me strength to trod onwhen the struggle seems in vain.
Hope keeps pushing meto keep trying; again and again.
Hope helps pick me upeach time that I am blue.
Hope helps me figure it outwhen I don't have a clue.
Hope is the reason
that I can fight through it all
instead of giving up,and taking a fall.
Hope will keep me going
it will help see me through


willw feb 15, 1998