Let your dreams FLY FREE

2010-02-27T03:37:00.002+08:00

As I bid farewell to this blog, I bid farewell to the memories here as well. There has been some good moments, some amazing moments and a few breathtaking ones.

But with it comes buried dreams, irrevocable mistakes, lost friendships, broken promises as well.

It is nostalgic , and even as I write this, I do contemplate if I should read this book for one last time.

But maybe not. A new book has yet to be written. Much work to be done.

To the different people that has impacted my life in the past... Thank you.

To the very little that have literally changed the course of my life... Thank you.

To that one or two, that belong to "kodak" moments, I sincerely wished it had turned out different.

" The path of the righteous shall shine ever brighter. "

May the Lord guide our steps, our paths. Till we meet again =)

2009-09-27T01:09:00.003+08:00

Let your dreams fly free.

When I was a younger man, or boy, I lived very much on inspiration and emotion. You could say one of the reasons why I came to church in my early days was this. I loved the inspirational pep talks of Pastor Kong, and on the emotional high of sermons on chasing your dreams!

It really seemed so simple back then, as though once you get inspired, excited. Well, dreams will come true.

But I realized with the fulfillment of any dream, comes the price of sacrifice. The sacrifice of time, of effort, even the sacrifice of your old character. Such that n new a better one would emerge.

I remembered the night just as if it was yesterday, when I stood at the living room of bullion park, looking out towards the pool. The voice of pastor ringing in my mind, and I couldnt sleep. God showed me a vision then, I saw before a congregation maybe 200, 300, 1000 strong.
I dont really remember falling asleep that night, and it felt so real, so strong that call of God.

But yet in the months following it, I fell in love with a girl, and exchanged my relationship. For 3 years, I lived my life worshipping another. Not so much the person, but rather the feeling of infatuation

I often wonder where would I be today, if I had made a different choice. Now in 2009, that was a decision I made 8 years ago. A vision I saw 96 months back.

Thinking of the past, brings to remembrance many things, many people. Even many versions of myself. I remembered a time when my blog entries was all about girls, or maybe a single girl, the current one I had a crush on. I remembered how I would talk about how cute/pretty/hot/ blah this girl and that was, and that was pretty much what filled my mind.

Looking back, I must have seemed so shallow. So.. simplistic. So hollow. Surely Life, has a greater meaning and purpose.And indeed it does.

In just a few months time, the course of my life would meet yet another landmark. And like so many times before, it's gonna take a whole new level of faith, and its gonna bring me to a whole new realization of the person I can be. A step into the dream I had many years before.

To let my dreams fly free, it does not depend so much on inspiration. But more on revelation and obedience. I've discovered not to live on the emotion, but to exercise persistence.

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

2009-06-28T21:41:00.003+08:00

Man its dusty in here!! Look at them cobwebs! But anyway, HELLO WORLD!!! So its been centuries since I last blogged, so here I am again, trying to see if I remember the what and hows of Blogging!

Well, to sum things up on what has been going on the past few weeks or months or centuries, after the previous school term I had a short 2 week break before summer semester. And This is the LOUD CAMP season! CRAZILY busy and I mean crazy. I would meet up either the cg leaders, or the team leaders every alternate day or even more! With 7 days, every week 1 day would be taken up for planning, one for meeting team ics, one for looking for probs, countless hours searching cheers and imagining how the process of the camp would run

and any remaining minutes would be spent cramming for my studies, giving tuition and of course going out with joce! ( ha! )

So yeah, thus the reason for no updates in the blog. But Thank God, I think the camp turned out well, and most importantly, every cg that was in yellow house Grew!!! It felt AMAZING. And it still feels so today. Loud camp really united the teams and drew out the loud shout/scream/cheer spirits in the people!

I secretly think that if anyone or everyone had a choice, they would wanna be loud, they would wanna be the person or the group that eludes the most confidence and noise. Yup, I believe everyone wants to be part of a vocal, loud , and chatty group rather then the silent and solome one!

It's all just about expressing yourself after all =)

Yup, so with that over and the first half of summer over, I'm havin a little bit of a lull peroid! Today to be exact, and BOY it feels good to have nothing to worry about. It feels good knowing there's no assignments to rush.

But in my spirit, I feel it moving into position, gearing up, getting ready. I wanna run again!

Does it get tired?
yeah.
Does it seem overwhelming at times?
Sure.
Do I ever feeling like giving up? Running away? Living the live over the fence?
All the time!

But man, I feel excited somehow! Cause it feels like God is just preparing the next adventure and challenge. And I wanna get my gear ready, and once again scale that mountain!

2009-06-13T02:47:00.000+08:00

Oh to live in a perfect world

2009-05-14T03:07:00.002+08:00

I got my results back!!!!!!!

And i did well this semester! Much much much better then all my previous semesters!

But! I'm not done yet! This period has been the creaziestly busy since I've started school, but God is faithful indeed!

New level, new devils though...

Things have been happening although very very little people know about it, and the future seems a little unpredictable ahead.

But I heard an interesting phrase today

" I really thought it was impossible, but when I saw what happened, when I saw the results,
It felt as though God laughed "

And I just want to experience that!
Thinking that something seems impossible to achieve,
and hearing God laugh.

wow.

So anyway! Going PS cafe with Joce tomorrow! I cant wait!! I love the food at PS cafe, and the ambiance is just awesome! It's rare to spend quality time together and I'm gonna savor every single second of it!

Ok! Off to bed!

YELLOW!

Scandalon

2009-05-05T00:11:00.003+08:00

I have been wriggling in scandalon, although I did not yet know it.

2009-04-30T00:46:00.002+08:00

I dont understand this feeling, this dislike, this dark undercurrent for I cannot find the reason of its existence. But it exists, its there, and it burns.

Weird, weird. The type of burning where with the want to overpower, to simply show who is better.
Well, I already do know of course. But this thing inside, urges me to flaunt it. Be pressed under the thumb.

Not a desire to win, but a dark yearning to crush. Crushed till you can climb back no more.

Dark indeed.

What a dislike for hypocrisy and gossip, espcially when most have looked but do not see.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just the thought, burrows my eyebrows.

But! after this, I let it go =)

2009-04-08T01:42:00.002+08:00

Where there exists such a feeling.
That everyone wins
but me

And it all comes haunting back at me.
Snarling, growling, crying

God, draw me o draw me away
from the inside out
draw me, o draw me away

2009-03-14T07:35:00.004+08:00

Because today I dreamt of the two of you talking, quarreling. I dreamt of you moving on, walking away with a hurt hidden in your heart. Masked by the smiles and covered with a fresh new coat of love.

But the hurt never left, did it?

It just got hidden for a little while ,

as you continue to run away.

You decided not to in the end, and I felt a certain grief coming over me as I woke up. So much so that I had to type this now.

But it is ok. Because someone has to fill this gap, between the living and the dead.

Oh and I really liked the quote that pam posted

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--------------------------

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When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest,

I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.

In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God,

I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all.

When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

-C.S. Lewis

2009-03-09T15:36:00.006+08:00

It is said that light and darkness cannot co-exist. Just had an interesting talk with a friend today, and I realised how true some things really are. That groups are people would hang out due to similr values, similar dreams , similar character.

And sometimes you get groups of people that just do not click. Thats where all the politics and back stabbing and gossip come in i guess. I am glad that the groups of friends I hang out with doesnt have that. There are no complicated ties or links or gloominess and I pray that it stays that way!

Things are often much clearer looking back. And I'm glad of the choices I made, the people I choose to close in on. And I breathe a sign of relief on the baggage that I left behind. It seems such like such an intricate web of complicated relationships and dark secrets. And like what my first sentence says, the dark cannot co exist with the light.

Happiness and sadness cannot exist together. Emo-ness and being carefree cannot exist together. Letting go means not hanging on. But dont get me wrong, being happy doesnt mean denying that bad things happen to good people. It just means u gotta let. it. go.

But maybe it works that way. Once tainted , you cant ever really go back. Once you lost your virginity, you lost it. Once you had an affair, you scar a life. Once you stabbed a friend in the back, you killed the trust.

And the guilt. Well, you just deal with it the rest of your life I guess.

This post sounds so " no turning back " haha but there is always a second chance of course! There always is.

I like how Carl Bard says it.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now on and make a brand new ending. "

Research says that this image was shown to children. And everyone of them saw only dolphins in the jar. It is because their minds are pure and untainted, which prevents them from seeing the intimate couple that is shown inside.

It goes on to say that people who sees the couple at first glance has "tainted" minds. And only when you focus, will you see the dolphins.

So what did you see?

Dolphins? Or A couple?

If you ask me.

The choice is yours really =)

Narnia!

2009-03-04T17:30:00.005+08:00

I finished watching Narnia 2 with Joce yesterday, and it was good. I have a thing for fantasy books and shows that has a children's element in it. Fairy tales in essence!

I like how there might be a whole different world, with fairies and centaurs and dwarfs and elves, and not in the Lord of the rings kind of way, or in the Harry potter kinda way. But in a Narnia, Hans Christian Anderson sort of manner.

Where innocence prevails cunning, and endings are always happy. Whenever I read Harry Potter in the past, I always conjure up a dark background or a gloomy atmosphere. Narnia on the other hand gives me a feeling of hope, friskiness and glee! I like that. Innocent, light hearted reading. Not to mention the old manner of how the english speak. Full of manners and yet oddly snobbish haha.

And there are the quotes. Which always sets me thinking, since we all know this. That sometimes, there are deeper hidden meanings behind each word, each sentence and each book.

There is a huge hidden meaning or rather representation in the Chronicals of Narnia. But I'd rather not spoil the moment for you. Go read it! Maybe you might find something you are searching for in life after all! Maybe hope, maybe joy, maybe innocence. Or maybe even more then all that.

I leave u all with the following =)

"Yes," said Queen Lucy. "In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world." ~TLB

2009-02-28T11:24:00.002+08:00

There are times when you get emotional right? Times when you wonder what you're doing here, is your life your own, are you living it right or living it the way you want to.

Yeah, there are times when you get really tired. Ready to throw in the towel and say, I give up. I'm sick of it all. I wanna live life by That other road.

Why? Sometime I think that way cause something failed, or I feel insufficient, or it seems that things are getting too tough.

Yesterday was such a day but a little different. I couldnt think of a good reason why I felt all emotionally unsettling. Maybe its the results of one of my papers which caused me to seriously consider dropping the module.

But yet that should not be it. Its just one of those weird days that makes me feel annoyed, irritated at the slightest things.

Maybe its a spiritual attack. i remember learning at BS just this week then if you go to bed feeing cheerful and filled with the joy of the Lord, but you wake up gloomy, it just means your emotions have attacked.

Maybe! haha I really dont know, but I believe that I'll pull through. I'm already on the winning side of this battle =)
I like what the BS teaching taught. I may not know how the battle will be like, what I will go through. But I how it will turn ou, and I want to be on the winning side.

Anyway went to joce to this french place at little india yesterday. Its apprantly supposed to be gourmet food at good prices, so went I check it out. The ambience is pretty good with lots of caucasians around, so I guess that it really is authentic french food. Including the portions!

I could kick myself but I forgot to take photos of the food! Although the portion was small, it was relatively filling, so check it out! google it for the address. Anyway off to church! tata for now!

2009-02-24T14:34:00.002+08:00

Chris has an eye infection! My very first no less. After a few years of wearing contacts i decided that I shall not take hygiene for granted, it was a very nice wake up call.

So anyway I didnt go to school today due to my MC and I missed the all disgusting law mid terms. So i bet you guys think WOHOO great! haha well, a little part of me thought so too, that I might have a little more time to study. But guess what! Instead of taking a 30MCQ and 2 essay question paper, I now have to take PURE essays!!!

Oh the torment, the torment! and yet here I reside, typing my blog instead of creaming my brain with the consitutional rights of every citizen. Singapore doesnt follow the constitituion btw, its an american law. Yup, I'm studying a law that is inapplicable in Singapore, joy. haha

I like typing cynical post, makes me wonder how much of a cynical person I really am. Its true then, that growing up makes you all the moe cynical. No more blowing feathers in the air or lying down on green pasture enjoy the breezy afternoon.

OOPSS, wait time to put eye drops. Brb!!!
Ok back.

I kinda miss my classmates, i wonder how they're feeling now after they test. Out celebrating maybe? haha the feeling of finishing a difficult test is hard to describe, it always fills me with a sense of accomplishment.

Anyway i was reading an extract on how law changed over the rights of blacks and i read an interesting point one of the congressman put up.

The first ammendment states that every citizen has a freedom of speech, decision and so on. Is it not the right of a businessman, to select the man/woman/race on which he desires to hire? Just as it is the right for every worker to choose an employer, the employer should hold rights to the people he choose to associate himself with!

I found it a very compelling arguement alothough it goes against ethics. yup, so something to think about!

ok back to law, oh glorious law! I shall try to post more frequently from now on, and hopefull on more interesting subject.

i'm talking bout ETHICs, phft yeah. ok till next time!!

2009-01-13T19:03:00.004+08:00

I was reading Kenneth's blog just now and i came upon one of his entry.

It just simply said, " let me be hope, When there's despair. "

I just stopped for a moment. Reading it twice, three times. And it got to me somehow. It gets me because I see how a life transformed. A candle lighting up, to bring to end the darkness that hovers around.

It makes me hopeful, knowing that someone else understands and wants the same things as me.

To let others know there is hope,
so that they would pick themselves up
and start running this race and keep on running.

Keep on running Kenneth,
as long as the candle of hope burns,
there can still be love, peace and joy.

=)

2008-12-31T14:30:00.003+08:00

I guess the core of my holidays would be the shifting of my house. Yup, for those that do no know yet, I now reside in the quiet neighbourhood of Parry Terrace.

It was a gruesome. I take back everything I said about shifting house being easy. The dust, the heavy books, the clearing of long unwanted clothe, and in the midst of my examiations! Thank God I sill did ok, excet for the cursed MGS!!!!! argh. I hate computer stuff.

So anyway me having a car, i left some stuff of mine at my old house to transport at a different time. I left all the cards and gift stuff, like camp breakaway awards back at my old place. For those of you who came before, its basically the place where i display all the cards and things people gave me over the years.

So yesterday, after major naggation by my mom, I went back to bullion park to retrieve them.

I guess.... A part of me doesnt want to leave the place. After all, it was there that I stayed the longest ( I have shifted 4 times in my life ).

Bullion Park saw me go through 3 different phases of my life.

It was where I met my best friend louis.

It was where I spent afternoons playing basketball and basking in the sun with my friends.

It was where I laid by the pool emoing about my problems.

It was where all 3 three of my relationships started and where 2 ended

It was where Aphro grew up

It was where I would walk, round and round and round the compound talking to God

It was where I met my most awesome neighbour Grace and of course jenric

It was where I decided to redidicate my life.

Bullion Park was/is so many things. And yesterday spelt my last day in the place.
It reminds me of the last episode of friends, where everyone left Monica's apartment.
So nostalgic, yet filled with the excitement of brand new beginnings.

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Played this new game at settlers the other day. Super fun! Haha, each person is given a card with a few different kind of information in it. So we are supposed to bluff the ppl around us.
For example, one of the info would give B.L.C

and we are supposed to each write something belivable, such as Bill Lender's Commitee and try to trcik the others. B.L.C might mean banana lovers convert or whatever, so the geez of it is to make the others choose your answer.

Anyway its a complicated game to explain and a fun game to play. Go try it out!

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While walking aphro with joce today, we caught wayne sitting outside his house and reading. So we went over for a while and started talking.

He shared how his cg would always start in the basement, and slowly grow bigger until it eventually fills up the stairs and overflows. Then everyone have to go to the living room.

Amazing.

Vision man. Although i've only known him or a little while, I cant help but be blown away by what he is doing for God. Not only does he have one of the fastest growing cg in church, he is good looking, charismatic and a First Class Honours student.

how. how does he do it? Just one christmas alone and I feel so worn out with just handling a connect group. I have so much free time and I'm just able to achieve second upper. And I'm in SIM! for crying out loud.

Even Huanxin is not first class.

I cant take it sometimes geeezz, oh well!

This semester, is gonna be the start of such success and 2009 will be the best year yet!

2008-10-24T12:35:00.002+08:00

Psalms 139

O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

2008-10-21T16:59:00.000+08:00

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2008-10-19T08:43:00.001+08:00

Everywhere I go, I hope to form crystals behind me.

2008-10-18T12:28:00.003+08:00

I'm waiting for my tuition kid to come and listening to the P2 students talking.

Teacher : " your dad will scold you later ah if you never do your work. "

Student : " ... "

Teacher : " Why your dad always scold you? "

Student still refusing to do work.

Teacher : " Your daddy will scold u later ah "

Student : " But My mom coming. "

Hahhaha then i laughed at this point

Teacher : " I will call your dad "

Student : " You dont know his number. "

Teacher : " you will be surprised."

Student : " The number is not 9XXXXXXX "

Teacher : " Just do your work. "

Student : " Can I do it at home? "

Teacher : " no. "

Student : " Why cannot? "

Hahaha and this is why tutors are paid so much.

2008-10-16T23:45:00.002+08:00

I miss

-Lying on my back and watching the clouds
-Looking forward to the bell that signals the end of school and the start of basketball
-Seeing my dad prepare for work each morning
-Early nights and late days
-Laughing at each other
-2 month long holidays
-Aphro as a puppy
-The lick of waves upon my toes
-Learning how to swim faster
-Playing block catching
-Being able to not care about my image
-being naive

We all grow up after all. =)

Yacht!

2008-10-14T18:46:00.004+08:00

I'm going on a Y A C H T ( changed haha ) tomorrow!

O.M.G

I shall have a taste of how being rich feels like! hahaha

But at the same time, I think I feel quite satisfied living my life now. Feels happy despite the pressure, priorities, people and persistence tests.

I wish everyone well! Much love love and more love!

Grace! I miss ya, I just went your blog just now =)

The only thing to do

2008-09-30T19:19:00.003+08:00

I was reading fen's blog and I really really liked what she wrote!

Are things moving too fast, or am i too slow?

Have you ever felt that things are moving so quickly that you feel that you are stagnating?

i guess no matter whether things are moving too fast or i am too slow, the only solution is for me to catch up.

I like her answer! No matter whether things are moving too fast, or am I too slow, the only solution is to catch up!!

Sometimes people would either give up and say they are not good enough, or blame that things are moving way too fast.

Fen's answer really showed me her fighting spirit! =)

SO!! If any of u reading this think that your results are not as good as u hope, or maybe u seem so far from your goal. Or many you're feeling stagnant empty and dry.

The only solution is to just catch up =)

2008-09-14T23:37:00.002+08:00

" Love gives us a power to hurt that hate cannot match. "

I read this off a book a few days ago. It impressed upon me so much that I memorized it.
If you did not love a person, it would be so easy to just forget and just walk away.

A rude woman on the bus.
An impolite waiter.
Arrogant customers.

Sure, you feel that flicker of anger, but it passes over soon enough.

But if its someone you hold dear, someone you love. How much harder it is to just forget and move on. How much harder to just ' not care '.

I can just imagine.

If aphro bit me
if my dad called me stupid
if my friends ignored or bitch about me.

Man, how painful that would feel. And how much harder it would be for me to forgive them. After all, these are the people ( and dog ) that I love! The more you love someone, the greater the hurt.

Which is probably why sometimes forgiveness is hard. Maybe that's why children always find it hard to forgive parents or vice versa. That's why divorced couples usually don't talk anymore.

Love paints the most beautiful picture from your imagination, into reality. This is called Hope, a companion of the elusiveness that is love.

Take a moment. Think about the people you love. Have you been hurt by them before? Try to remember the feeling.

Now. Take another moment and think of the people that loved you. Have You hurt Them before? Understand how they feel =)

Which is why we all need to learn how to forgive. Because forgiveness is setting a prisoner free, and realizing that the prisoner was You.

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Maybe it is the season for love, I don't know. The birds do seem to be singing, and the flowers do seem to be blooming. Love found me like the rising of the sun this time round.

Instead of a horse running, it flutters like a gentle dove.

Hmm... A dove. Lovely.

Gentle and pure. Instead of romping the ground, maybe this time it would take to the skies instead.

Who knows what true love should be like?
Indeed, who knows.

But a dove, what a lovely picture it paints. =)

2008-09-11T16:00:00.002+08:00

Ok, so I was in this house and it was a lan shop. Me and two other friends are inside searching for games. It was a Lan shop that was actually secretly dealing with weapons!

Yes thats right! right here in Singapore! A lan shop was actually secretly selling guns.
So anyway, I started to walk out after playing.

As I walked down the stairs, two man in military uniform came walking in.

" Stop, this is the illegal weapons investigation unit. Please let me check u "

Being afraid of getting in trouble, I let them check me, check my bag and quickly waited outside the house for me two friends.

Suddenly! White smoke came out of the house. I felt my face numbing and my lungs burning! Instinctively i knew it was tear gas and my brain screamed Run RUn RUN!!

But my friends were inside and its just tear gast so i started to walk back to the house, when the intensity of the smoke tripled! And it poured out thicker and thicker. I saw a gas mask being thrown onto the ground. I struggled towards it as breathing got harder and harder, but before i reached it, I fainted.

I woke up, and the television was on. They were reporting the news on TV, and said that 5 mega kilograms of gas was released. Breathing it was like injecting teargas into your blood.

And I was the only survivor.

And in the dream, I survived not cause of luck or anything. I survived cause deep inside there was a dark evil, that did not allow me to die. And it was waiting, just waiting for the right time to come out of me.

Sccaaaaaaarryyy..

I woke up feeling all scared. Dark dreams, dark dark dreams.

The dream is seriously weird isent it?

I mean.

Why would I go play in a lan shop?

Weird.

2008-09-06T09:25:00.002+08:00

Rini and me always seem to like similar songs!

Presenting Lucky!

2008-09-02T14:40:00.003+08:00

Its all about depth.

I once heard a saying that goes something like this. " You stretch a mile across, but you only have an inch of depth. "

How meaningful. I look at the friends I have in school, the friends I have in church, the friends I known from my past, the friends from army. How vast, how high the numbers go.

A mile across.

But how deep?

Popularity without character, laughter without joy, lust without love.

How deep?

A remnant of my past came back to haunt me. A decision I made a really long time ago, and one more recent. I always thought, if I put the past behind me, it would stay there. But like spiders, they do have a certain way of crawling right back.

Love is like a flower.
Beautiful to behold, lovely to smell.
Basking in the light
Blistering in the night

The lovelier the flower
The thornier the stems

Love blossoms in the right conditions
Only in certain seasons.
Planted in the right ground
It always brings about smiles,
never ever a frown.

But is it in vanity?
For flowers do fade.
There comes a certain day
where the petals would fall
upon the grass blade.

And there forth shall determine.
If Love wilts and dies.
Or does it bear a fruit
with seeds of life inside?

Yeah. Love could stretch a mile wide. Like a vast field of dandelions.
But only the ones which takes root and goes deep.

Those are the ones to look out for.

2008-09-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

Liping, I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong!

2008-08-09T10:48:00.002+08:00

Check out the new uncle kracker song my dear readers!

Thinking once again fore mostly of your convenience, I have added to the listen section on my right. So alllllll you have to do, is wait for it to load!

Its such a nice cheery, melodically everything's-gonna-be-alright song! hahaha

But like Mika, the lyrics exposes a different song.

2008-07-27T01:00:00.002+08:00

A grand total of 15 cockroaches has been killed at my house. I dare say the nest has been found, and destroyed.

2008-07-22T17:53:00.002+08:00

Credits to Rini for Flobots

2008-06-29T16:00:00.002+08:00

How rare that I am actually sitting in front of my computer in the middle of an afternoon and blogging!

Life is so crazy packed and it felt good spending a day at home just watching shows and reading. Jovan's coming over with jian hui to play basket ball in exactly 45mins!
We have to prepare for the competition with E405! ( in case I got the number wrong, its jen's cg)

I'm really excited at a new sch term starting once again! I wonder how tough will the new subject be like?

I think I'm gonna learn oil painting or sculpturing during the holidays. I want to go to see those park connectors places that bryan always takes photos off.

I'm glad how some friendships seem to be forming. =)

Today is rest, but things still need to be done! Let's see..

1. Accounts Midterms
2. School bbq/dinner?
3. Birthday planning/present
4. chalet programs
5. buy organiser
6. firestation visit?
7. gym twice this week
8. swim twice
9. financial stuff

people I wanna meet:

- Louis, dine and gang
- Marielle, johnny and gang
- Junjie
- huanxin and TOMO
- Mt faber dinner
- stephen and ben? ( no insurance selling please!)
- Army buddies
- Joce and Weifen
- NB, Muahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha ( ok aaron, stop pushing me. I just find her easy on the eyes, nothing more )

Ok, for now lets do that.

2008-06-29T01:44:00.003+08:00

" Whatever occupies the biggest part of your heart, holds the biggest portions of your conversations. "

Dear Jesus,

There's no other place I would rather on a Saturday evening.
Because You're worth my time, my sacrifices, my love.
You're worth it God.
I dont have much to offer, but what I do have, will You use it?
Little becomes much in the master's hands.
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart. All of my praise.
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

2008-06-12T09:32:00.002+08:00

“A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around”

It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.

A blonde goes horse back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it.

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

The following took place at an international conference for women's rights.

The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our
husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

(The crowd cheered).

The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing,
but on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well.

(The crowd again cheered).

The third speaker, a Jamaican lady, stood up and said," After lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Dingo Jack, dat I was froo pickin up his beer cans, cookin his tucker and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.
(The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes).

She continued...........................

"Afta da first day, I nevah see nuffing.

Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing,

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>but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit out of my leff eye."

2008-06-03T01:43:00.002+08:00

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Monday morning

2008-05-26T08:39:00.002+08:00

Its monday morning! Here's a little start to your week.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups. ~Rita Rudner

=)

This will be a good week.

2008-05-25T20:55:00.010+08:00

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

Sometimes I wonder if keeping a diary is indeed a good idea or not. Memories are precious if they hold happiness in them, but would you really want to remember the horrible ones? There is one thing I hate about meself. I always look back.

I always look back into the memories of my life and think about What Ifs. What if I had taken another path, what if I did not make a certain choice, what if I had stayed on, what if a million things.

Sometimes people move on so fast they scare me. They really do. I wish I could be more like them really. I wish I could just bite my teeth, bear any pain in my life, Smile, and just move on.

And it Seems like I do. Really. It seems like I move on in my thoughts, in my actions, in how I can laugh and not talk about anything, how life is so happy-go-lucky and busy and filled with activities.

But the truth is, I really care. I care about the relationships I have in the past. I care about the memories that I once hold dear. I care about how it was like in the beginning and how it has all changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed changed.

I'm emo that way.

I guess seeing W171 together, sparked this all up. You know how everyone has a vault in their hearts, where they throw in memories or thoughts that brings pain sometimes. I guess today's gathering was the pin that pricked the lock.

I miss everyone together. Very much so.

And along in that vault lies another memory. A really painful one that hurts still. Although I pretend it doesnt.

It often starts out with sadness.
Then anger.
Then you realise that anger was just one of the many ways you try to cover the pain.
And you fall back on the pain.

It hurts really. A dry aching in the heart.

But this is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.

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A cg that loves.

2008-05-21T16:46:00.003+08:00

I grew up and realised I couldn't please everyone in the world.

2008-05-19T10:32:00.002+08:00

Last day of the holidays! A good one. Although it has been only 3 weeks, it feels as though I experience so much! Top of the list being diving.

I missed out learning the guitar though. But overall, I hit my goals haha
So anyways, school's gonna start, and i wonder if i'm gonna have time to learn. Hai
Anyway, for your viewing pleasure

2008-05-17T11:17:00.003+08:00

You stand on earth looking
while I walk in heaven listening
because heaven exists inside.
The one place that cant be touched

I feel my spirit breaking
As the whims of this world fade
before the splendor of the King

2008-05-15T07:37:00.003+08:00

Prawn Fishing

WHAT
Prawn fishing, prawn sizes range from really small to huge ones! People have even reported catching crayfish. There is even pomfret catching, crab catching and of course fish catching.

WHERE
Pasir Ris Park Fishing Pond (near Pasir Ris MRT)
Open 24hrs (Do it at night (after 10pm). Prawns are noctournal so there.)
Cost: $13/hr, 3hrs get 1hr free, can share 4 hrs with 2 rods

EQUIPMENT
They give you a choice for long or short rods, for me i prefer long rods coz it can access far places in the pool. For beginners take short rods coz they are easier to control. Chances are if you use a long rod you'll panic when you get ur first catch and fling the prawn (claws all snapping) to unwary bystanders (Sarah kena this a few times already, i mean kena flung AT)
Bring a nice sharp knife to cut the cockles in thin slices, quality of knife is IMPORTANT coz baiting is VERY crucial so you need to cut the bait exactly the way you want it.
Bring a cloth to wipe your hands too and some water to wash your hands with and also for those who are scared to hold a live prawn.
Drinks not really necessary coz nearby theres a stall
You don't need bags to keep your prawns etc coz they will provide it to you.
A pair of LONG NOSE pliers (with a hook at the end) is VERY important. This is used to fence with the prawn claws and rip them off (haha!), also useful to remove the hooks embedded in their mouth. The more 'PRO' guys dun need this but me being not so pro and a bit of a gu niang when it comes to these things makes it invaluable.
Spray OFF on yourself.
Bring some handsoap coz the bathroom doesn't have any

BAIT
They give you chopped fish or squid, use cockles from NTUC (95cents for more than u need)
Cut small pieces, roughly 1.5cm in length. Be sure to remove the bloody parts as they don't hook well.
What you want to do is the 'coat the hook' with the bait, such that you HIDE the point of the hook INSIDE the bait. Its REALLY hard to tell you exactly how u do this with just 1.5cm of bait but just follow this fundamental and you'll be fine. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to do so there.

TRAWLING
Ok put the hook and float anywhere in the water and slowly trawl across the water. When i mean slow i mean like 1 foot 4-5secs. There is no point going back to the same area so use your eyes to mark out a search area and cover that whole area. Prawns cluster together so basically you need to move your hook till you hit them. It is less likely they will come to you.
Prawns like to hang out near lights and OXYGEN so you see those bubbles, go there. They will not be UNDER the bubbles, but rather at the tip of the wake the bubbles make. Imagine the bubbles take some time to dissolve so they will be at that spot.

THE BITE
After awhile, you'll surely feel something tug the line. When you do so, keep the rod still and slowly move it back to the point where the tug began (put the rod on top of the float).
The 1st tug is where the prawn catches the bait with its pincers so you are waiting for it to put it in its mouth.
Once you are above the float and completely still, wait 10 secs (its VERY when this happens) for the prawn to put the bait in its mouth.
And then with just one fluid movement, lift the whole rod vertically upward (NOT towards you) and IF you did your bait properly you 'll make a catch!

POST PROCESSING
Ok prawns have 2 claws that HURT.
They are also VERY unhappy when you do this kind of things to them.
So here is where the pincers come into good use. Just use the pliers and rip them off.
WARNING: When you hold the prawn on a string in front of you and use the pliers to pull off its claws, 2 things can happen:
1) The hook may slip off and the prawn will start flying around on the floor snapping.
2) Worse yet, the hook may NOT slip off and you may carelessly pull the prawn into your face where the OTHER claw will get you. Something like this happened to my dad when he so bravely grabbed ONE of the claws just to have the other claw get him. Yes it hurt.
After you get it off, use the pliers to remove the hook then put it in the net (provided by the shop) and place the net in the water so that the prawn can say goodbye to its family and friends. When you are done, just give the net to the guy/girl at the store and they will pack it into a plastic bag for you.

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Prawn fishing is the new fun thing to do!

I felt my phone vibrating in choir practice. Thinking it was just a random call, I ignored it. Only to feel it dance for the next 5 mins. I wondered who was it, that would call me 3/4 times. Thinking it important, I looked at the name and saw SHAWN. I wondered what happened that he would call me non-stop 4 times. Honestly, i got a little worried. I thought, "maybe he got into an accident." ( Which was STILL weird, cause, why would he call me? )

So yeah, anyway I got worried and message him, expecting some sort of terrible news. And he replied............................................................... " Wanna go prawning? "

How ultra spontaneous is that? But I love spontaneity.

After a game of find-shaina's-car, we finally reached beer gardens at 1130pm! There were two ponds around the size of 1/2 a basketball court. We rented two rods to share amongst the 4 of us and found ourselves a nice spot to sit and set up our picnic. ( Shaina brought like 6 bottles of drinks and two bags of chips. On top of that, they brought paper napkins, alluminium foil, pliers and gloves! )

So I was all skeptical about prawning cause i heard that you only catch like, 2 prawns an hour? Anyway, being the kiasu, kiasi, new noobie, lvl 1 prawn fisher. I wore the gloves and tried baiting the first rod. Now, if you read this and go prawn fishing, do NOT I say again do NOT bait with gloves because it looks really dumb. Another really noob thing we did, was we saw this couple bring alot of prawns to the BBQ pit ( they provide that so you can BBQ your prawns while they are fresh ) and we Sttaarreedd at them. Hahhaa

We even asked them how to catch so many prawns. Can you imagine it? Four of us standing at the BBQ pit gawking and asking how to catch so many prawns.

After baiting our rods, we threw them into the water and i settled myself down for a 30min wait. And before I knew it, I saw shaina ( or was it her friend ) Fling up the rod! And there was the prawn with its twin claws, stuck in the ceiling.

I felt kinda bad when we caught the pregnant mother prawn. But she really put up a strong fight and pinched my hands.

In total, we caught 16 prawns in 3 hours. Two escaped because we forgot that prawns can swim, and we submerged the entire net into the pond. haha

Anyway, the top part of this post was research done on how to catch more prawns. Watch out all you monster shrimps! lol

Chris =)
Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me. --Sara Paddison

2008-05-14T11:18:00.003+08:00

Words and quotes over the past weeks that impacted me.

" Some of you say, its too hard and I wanna give up. But you've only been a COC for two months! "
- Pastor Audrey

Pastor spoke this when we went for a meeting with her. When she said it, it just struck a cord within me. Thoughts of how I'm not good enough, of how some people are so flawlessly natural at this, while here I am struggling.

I'm always wondering if I am doing the right things? And I get worried, because I want my grp to grow, not just in numbers, but spiritually as well. To get to know God in a whole new level. And i've got such good members in my grp. Am I causing them to stumble? Do I seem like I only care about the admin church stuff and not about their lives.

But I love my connect grp members, and its because I'm worried about all these things, I sometimes wonder if I am suitable. Maybe its better if I'm just responsible for my own life. But when pastor said that sentence, it pierced me. Its only been a few months, how can I give up? No no no, I cant. Its a race, I started running it, how can I stop 1/2 way and say I want to quit! I can finish this race well, and I will!

" What would you do, if you knew you were gonna be a BV this week? " - Bel

I heard this yesterday during practice. And it got me wondering as well. What if this week, I had to be a BV, or a cell grp leader, or what if I had to preach on stage. Bel was saying this because during service, some of us didnt know our parts.

If we knew we would be a BV or preach on stage this week, what would happen? We would definitely dress sharply, cut our hair, practice our singing, pray and fast. Can you imagine a backup voalist not knowing his parts?

It really is all about an attitude. Before I become something, I start behaving like one. After hearing that, I feel motivated to practice my singing more, to go shop for clothes, to pray and fast. I feel motivated to really serve with my best, not something sub-standard.

Which goes to the next phrase. Also by Bel.

" Even before you audition, you already are a BV. "

Honestly, I'm not really interested in becoming a BV since it was never in the vision and dreams given to me. What I liked was the underlying meaning behind it. The mindset and the faith. Of how you practice and prepare yourself. How in your mind, you already see yourself being the person you want to be even before it happens.

Even before you enter the examination hall, you already have an A.
Even before you go for an outreach, you see revival.
Even before you lay hands, you see healing.
Even before you go for a competition, you won.
Even before you work, you're a CEO.

Its not saying how you can YAYA Papaya. Like " oei, I'm ceo, no need to come work online. "
Rather, when you're the boss. You lead by example, so you're the earliest in the company. You study early so you can get an A in your exams. You train hard, so you know you can win on the day of the competition.

I feel as though the seeds of faith are being planted in my life this season, and thats the direction I'm being steered towards. And of course, the perfect ending of an entry about quotes, would be to end it with one.

“Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is
still dark.”

2008-05-12T23:48:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

Sometimes I really find it hard to love people. It is simple to love the people who love me back, but how do I love those that hate me? How do I love those people that don't like the things I do, the words I say. I wish the whole would could accept me and be happy around me. I wish I could bring the same joy into them. Although... I know its not possible.

God, I know I cant change how a person feels. But I know I can change how I feel. So Lord, right now... I just want my thoughts, emotions, feelings to change. That I would see through the eyes of love, the eyes of peace. The way You would see it. Let every anger, every hate, every bitterness disperse.

And God, please remember my friends, esp those in need of a miracle. Always be near them, whispering comfort into their ears. Let those with bad histories move on strong, let those with future woes trust You more, let those that are suffering now find strength. Help those who are lost and confuse, find direction.

Thank You. For great friends and family. For the computer I can use to type this. For the bed that I could sleep in tonight. Thank you, for listening to my voice amongst the millions you must hear... I really appreciate it.

Let me know You more everyday.

Love,
Chris

2008-05-11T21:57:00.003+08:00

There we go =)

Love
Chris

2008-04-29T23:22:00.002+08:00

Reasons why we love Weifen.

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weifen! says:
hahaha i just researched on how to stop ur stomach from growling

weifen! says:
hahaha my stomach kept growling during lessons

weifen! says:
so embarrassing!

Chris says:
hahahaha!!

Chris says:
so how do u stop it??

weifen! says:
hahahaahha

weifen! says:
i dunno1

weifen! says:
eat loh

Chris says:
.........

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there's more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris says:
That was Classic.

Chris says:
this is going on my blog

weifen! says:
hahahahaahaha

weifen! says:
What!

weifen! says:
i mean how else!

weifen! says:
hahaahha trick ur brain that you are not hungry

weifen! says:
or make a lot of noises to cover the noise

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There you go, the two ways to stop stomach from growling.

1. Eat
2. Make alot of noises to cover the noise

2008-04-29T22:30:00.002+08:00

I feel blessed!
I received two gifts this weekend.
A heart-shaped lollipop and a hat necklace.

What made it more special was the people who gave it to me =)

It really came as an encouragement! To study harder and to serve more!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway I was just studying for my MGQ exam yesterday when my mind sort of drifted back to the past. Memory drifts tend to have an effect on you. They make you see things in a different light.

I think. People tend to see their surroundings as how they Want it to be. For instance, when you like milo, you think milo is the best drink on earth and there's no other drink that taste better. But to another person, milo might lose out to coke?

Get what I mean?

So yeah, I was drifting back in my thoughts and I came across a particular memory that had an impact in my life. It was a Kodak moment. Scenes in your life, that sticks in your memory forever.

The first smile of your first love, the picture of your first puppy asleep, your new born child. Scenes where u know, on your deathbed, you would see flashing across your eyes.

But I realised that even Kodak moments, when looking back, might not be as it seemed. I had a sudden revelation of alot of things that happened, alot of words that were said and what they meant.

I wish I could have seen it then as I do now. But such wishes are only as real as the genies that grant them. Its time to close the book once again I guess. With old entries edited. Old memories smudged to reality.

Time to write a new story, a new book. I've read and reread my old stories too many times. They belong to the shelves now. To collect dust and time.

2008-04-19T11:13:00.001+08:00

Note to self : Buy new stockings for Joo.

2008-04-19T09:59:00.002+08:00

Here's a reason why I hate people with better ESL skills then me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris says:
mini crush

Chris says:
haha

[Shawn] - It's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you - says:
you have so many mini crushes

[Shawn] - It's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you - says:
so funny

Chris says:
haha name ONE other crush!

[Shawn] - It's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you - says:
dunno

Chris says:
see then what u said was an unwarranted claim

[Shawn] - It's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you - says:
but if you can have a mini crush like this one, surely there are others

[Shawn] - It's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you - says:
implied presupposition

2008-04-01T07:24:00.001+08:00

Ok I had the exact same dream twice in two days

It is definitely a sign!

I wonder whats up with my dreams these days, I know I have had two dreams last night I ought to be concerned with.

Hmm...

2008-03-30T09:25:00.001+08:00

Two Billion People in this world, you had to choose her.

2008-03-23T18:27:00.012+08:00

Easter has come and passed!! What a joyful season indeed! I always remember what someone told me, that even though Christmas seems the most joyful season of all, it would have no meaning without Easter.

I'm gonna go for a BBQ in a few mins time and meet up with loooong time no see JC pals. And meeting them would be my always-around-and-seen-too-much sec sch pals! hahahah Fun fun, and i've decided that, even though this sem is stress stress stress, I'm gonna just continue to have fun and believe that I would still do well!

I think i've been focusing too much on work work, study study, put in effort put in effort, that I might have neglected that fact that I should have FUN and REST too! So yup! That mindset has Got to change.

Haha, ok enough words, let the pictures do the talking! Some are waaayyy old! So anyways, lets go.

University of Buffalo Series!

Me and Shao Wei acting out " I believe I can fly!! "

Dewn's Place Goofing off! Some pictures Omitted, haha

Me and Shaina!

Aron The Poet

Apparantly my aim is not fantastic. haha

Heng Yi acting funky haha

Geez Kenneth, children read my blog ok.

The Rolling of eyes. An event that occurs when Chris says a joke.

Bag Shopping for Mal's Mom!

This is what you get when you roll your eyes at my joke!

Big Wide Grins! Our teeth can blind drivers haha

Mal outlasted me at arcade games! I shall concur that I am absolutely not a gamer.

The SCANDAL! Out in theaters 31/02/2009

I miss shouting cynthia!

The Hood.

Every face remembered. Every memory treasured.
Every smile appreciated.

So it has been
So it is
So it always shall be

The day will come, when we shall all graduate, walking out own paths, living our own lives. But the face seen will always remain in me, the memories created will always be treasured, the smiles received would always mark a day brightened in my life. =)

Always always know that you guys rock!

PS: Goes out to ppl not in photo as well, Yoon, Stan, Andrew, Maylene and whoever i might have missed out!

There's waaayy more photos to show, but this was all from my computer collection. There's so much more in my HP that I need to upload. But sigh... How lazy. Ok folks, thats all for today! Tune in more for pictures of Easter, Hong Kong and other hilarious events!

School is starting tml once again! Despite the killing lectures, I know that I know, its gonna be awesooommeee!

And how do I end it off, the entry at easter, without give every honor to Jesus.
With all my heart, Thank you.
For being my God, my Saviour and my Friend.

2008-03-17T00:34:00.002+08:00

The words that you say can bring a lift a person up, or tear a person down.

But dont feel happy when you do pull someone down by the things you say or do.

Because God sees and He hears.

If you think that crushing the spirits of another person makes you feel powerful.

Well.

Trust me. You'll get double the portion. =)

So friends! Let's always encourage and when you see someone happy, don't try to deliberately make them sad cause you aren't having as good a day or as good a life as them!

When you plant apple seeds, you get apple trees.
When you plant kindness, you get love.

2008-03-14T09:19:00.000+08:00

Finally! A day where i wake up to the SUN

I love my Sun.

The way the sunlight bursts in, the way the morning air smells , the people walking about below my condominium.

And the sky is blue. I never noticed how nice blue was. But how blue the sky looks today!

I wonder if Its blue skies in Canada right now
Or if its blue in Australia

I wonder if anyone else is looking straining their neck, looking straight up.

What A Gorgeous Morning. It's gonna be a good day I believe.

2008-03-03T01:19:00.004+08:00

I cant sleep!

Thats what caffeine does to you.

Caffeine and econs that is.

This semester is so much more difficult compared to the last. So many changes around me!

But God is still good. Change brings breakthroughs and if there is one thing I know, there will always always be changes, and with each change come adaptation and improvement.

So bring on those difficult subjects! I'll conquer you all econs, maths, stats, english and accounts!
I shall cut you up and chew you down!

Know that you are my tools not my bane! I need to visualize!

Maths -A
Accounts -A
Micro Econs -A
English -A
Stats -A

I want this. All distractions aside.

Ok, just one distraction. Listen to this letter C.s Lewis wrote to his goddaughter when he finished writing the second book in the chronicles of Narnia.

To Lucy Barfield

MY DEAR LUCY,

I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker then books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales once again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too old to hear, and too old to understand, a word you say, but I shall still be

You affectionate Godfather,

C.S. LEWIS

Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales once again.

Beautiful, isent it?

:)

2008-03-01T10:56:00.007+08:00

Light Gives Birth To Light

I like this phrase. Do you know that just as light, happiness, joy, peace spreads. So does anger, jealousy, gossip and strife. For instance, if you're those happy people, you make people around you happy. Happiness gives birth to happiness!

I like hanging out with people like Huanxin. Because all we do are dumb things that make us laugh, talk about is how great our future is gonna be, and pushing each other on.

Or people like Jocelyn who makes me wanna be a Good person in general.
Forgive, love, forgive, love, forgive, love.

I walk away from these people feeling happy, feeling like I want the whole World to be happy with me, to succeed with me, to soar with me.

That its not a competition and like Bryan says, there will be MORE then Enough for EVERYONE. So I live my life not competiting, But working With everyone to SHINE TOGETHER!

And that's what good friends do. They push each other on, build each other up, and when the need arises, they correct each other with love.

I have good friends.

They're the friends everyone should have. =)

If you have people in your life, who after talking to them. Makes you feel lousy, makes u feel like the world is a horrible place.

If you have friends who makes you hate other people around you. Or gossip and tear down others.

If after being with them, u feel filled with hate, filled with jealousy, filled with finger pointing and guilt.

Run away.

You deserve friends like mine. Who builds people up, who encourages people when they're sad, who goes out of their way just to help.
Who will always say to you, You Can do it and you will!!!

Dark times have to leave

because Light Will Always Give Birth To Light.

2008-02-28T08:02:00.003+08:00

I have a friend
Who is perfect for me
She listens to all my problems
No matter how dumb they may be

She likes herself for who she is
And never tries to change
She tells me to be myself
That I should always be the same

She was shy on the phone
But she would still call
And we would talk for hours
About nothing at all

We would talk about love and life
And discuss what we wanted to be
She knew just how I felt
And how happy I could be

She listens to me patiently
But never judges what I do or say
She helped with all my problems
And never went away

I never once felt judged by her
How much that meant to me
That I could tell her all my dreams
And she would listen to me

My friend never goes and tells
What is dear to me
She keeps it all bottled up inside
And doesn't spread it like a bee

Cold black stone
Left me standing here all alone
A road I’ve found no end
So many bumps and turns
Still you leave me with another bend

Twisted and curved I follow
Deep within my heart cold and hollow
Winding and turning I continued on
So many roads have come and gone

One day I set out to find the right path
Frustated, sad and confused
Only to find myself feeling its wrath
I moved along,
My Soul, tormented and bruised

Standing at a fork in this God forsaken place
Tired, scared and all alone
Tears of sorrow streaked my face
I fall, hitting hard, the cold black stone

A gentle touch upon my shoulder
Not knowing, not willing to understand
I turned to see you standing there
Outstretched arm with a helping hand.........

I thank God for the day you were created
And smile each time you look my way
The road has warmed and all my sorrows were tamed
Within my heart your friendship and love will always remain.

So the next road I travel frightening and new
I will walk without pain or sorrow
Not before, but knowing this now
All my roads will lead back to you

2008-02-09T10:12:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday.

I woke up with a heart that's kinda heavy.

" Smile, just smile and it'll be ok. "

2008-02-06T15:46:00.000+08:00

Ok let me blog.

Hmm, lets see... Umm, there was this thing that happened.. oh oh and that.. erm.. how should i write it? Ho humm..

Just call me.

:-D

Except for those that are overseas, e.g mel , then in which case please msn me?

My fingers do the talking no more, not for now.

They laze, yes they do.

2008-01-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

There comes a point in your life
when you realise who matters,
who never did,
who wont anymore,
and who always will.
So dont worry about people in your past,
there's a reason
why they didnt make it to your future.

How genuinely true. :)
Thank God though, that there'll always be someone else
To replace those very old shoes.

2008-01-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

"Do not ask for a light load
Ask for a strong back"

2008-01-10T15:52:00.000+08:00

I feel my head bobbing to tune of "tattoo". Since I'm lyricticular ( yup I created a word, it means I observe lyrics ) , I searched up the lyrics of the song.

Heres the chorus.

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction

Nice right? It means letting go. But what I didnt get what the second part.

I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

Confusing! Is she moving on, or missing the past? Hahaha

Supper was fun yesterday, it has been long since I've met you neighbor. I hope that everything will turn out fine for you in the end!

So its pouring outside, and I'm supposedly supposed to be reading The Book Thief, and I had the urge to write. The book thief takes a rather different approach. Its narrated by Death, so it takes a little getting used to.

And speaking of reading, Jocelyn showed me a really good phrase today!

Expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian.

So true! Quirky quotes seasoned with realism makes my day happy. =)

2008-01-05T13:51:00.000+08:00

"I can imagine her in real life, She has the gentle soft type of look."

" Really? But she's very active. Very crazy , screaming and laughing. But yet, there's this gentleness in her. The way she carries a dog, the softness in her eyes. I like that contrast"

Where would u would find exuberance
married to a benign smile?
A radiant spirit
with a placid heart?
Like a rapturous sunrise
and the genial moon.

I like that contrast as well.

But I cannot become you.

Listen to wisdom's call.

2007-12-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

December has got to be the busiest month of the year. With Christmas and holidays and meeting up friends and family.

This has been the first day I had to truly relax and stay at home, reading, watching TV , sleeping.

I've had my results back, not as great as I would like, but its still ok. I do have rather high expectations after all.

The past few days just whizzed by, going to church for the two days I've been home. Look at how thousands of candle lights light up a hall that is otherwise pitch black! And That's the way to do it. Lighting up darkness, one candle flame at a time.

2008 comes knocking on my door too soon. What a year this has been! Somehow, it didnt seem as significant. Like, there wasnt a huge Punch when I looked back. A slurry of events that happened, but yet the image remains like frosted glass.

Looking back, I realised I'm glad Not for the things that happened, but really, for the people that I've come to known.

Hong Kong made me realised how incredibly blessed I am to have a bunch of Goof balls as my friends. How rare to have friendship at this level after 10 years. Ten years!

And university.

How do I start? Knowing UB people must be one of the turning points of my life! Everyone I've known is star struck awesome in their own ways! Like they say, a rainbow is beautiful cause of all the different colours in it.

But amongst them, two people really stood out.

Bryan, who shown me that , relationships goes beyond talent and hardwork. This is a guy who, once he sets his mind to something, doesnt stop until he's the best! And I do mean the best. From him, I saw that courage to follow one's heart, and how it pays off.

Many people would take the conventional way. Take a degree, get a job. It pays. But he chose to pursue photography, just caused he liked it. He didnt expect it to really pay off I guess, but he wanted to learn, to be good.

I wont say how much he earns. But its an impressive amount.
And it came from passion! Working for passion, not money.
That inspires me.

And then, there's Malorie.

Many people see her as talented and smart. Brains and looks to boot. Music and science and literature personified.

But perhaps the thing that struck me most, was how strong you are. Having known you, probably changed me in a way, that even I might not know. Your courage, gives birth to new hope in other people. Seeing you strong enough to have walk through your valley. It gives me courage you know. That I know I can be strong enough to walk through mine, and any that is to come.

And of course Church!

I had the privilege of knowing all the people in Yellow house! The fervency and love for God, overwhelms me. The guys that slept in the same room with me, Tidus, Simon and so many more that I have not mentioned. You guys wont read this i think, but but but. The camp was fun, because of you. The dancing to music, the sabo, the deciding of where to sleep! I miss camp all over again.

And of course there's team leaders! Yixuan, whoes favourite word is flow! And Jocelyn, our SUPERHERO!

We're the only house that met so much, and gelled so strongly, and its really all cause of her.

Oh! And how can I forget JEN! Who made supper fun-filled-overflowing!
And Fenky! Who showed me patience.

Lastly, definitely it would be E444.

Through the camp, Christmas.... Guys. You all have grown.
And its from glory to glory indeed.
Through the mad tiredness, we went through! And we went through it together.

Sticks bundled together, thread intertwined.
If one single person can make a difference.
Just imagine.
One cell group can make history.

Of course. What I am would really be nothing without my family! Who made me who I am! Literally! haha

God is good.

2007-12-24T10:58:00.000+08:00

Jen thinks I write well!!

haha

Oh, and Joce thinks how can I possible write well when my spelling is horrible?

Which reminds me of Louis who likes to corrects Huanxin's spelling

Which at this point of time makes me realize that maybe blogging about HK would be more interesting for you guys to read.

BUT! Its gonna take AGES! And its Christmas EVE!

Its a day of lazing in bed, sleeping, and not doing anything.

So I'm gonna ramble and tumble and not write any sensible thing in general.

I'm supposed to jog, but my alarm didnt go off.

ok! Bye !

hahaha

2007-12-17T10:39:00.000+08:00

In a matter of hours, I'll be off on my holiday!

It seems really fast, just a few days ago I said bye cause I was going camp, and now its HONG KONG BABY!

Anyway, I really wanna stay in Singapore as well, what a tearing feeling.

E444, go out there and do your thing ok? YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!

E Triple Four Sccrreeeaammmmm!!!

hahaha

Joo, sorry I cant be around for your birthday. I realise we've never celebrated B4! I'll make it up to you!!

Weifen, remember ok? FIFTEEN JAN! Must be before that!

Junyu, Thanks for making the cards! Make the Birthdays HAPPENING ah, Mr Birthday Coordinator.

Ok, I cant go one by one, so ALL YOU REST OUT THERE, I'm gonna MISS YA ALL

Oh, Jhonny! Please dont get influenced and disallow Women to talk in public! LOL

Any Bryan! I wanna borrow camera! Stop working so hard and enjoy LIFE! hahaha

okok I'm off I'm off!!

Oh, let me include this extract before I leave.

" I slipped the picture back where I found it. Then I realised something: That last thought brought no sting about it. Closing Sohrab's door, I wondered if this was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night. "

Yup. Forgiveness buds with pain slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.
The last thought brought no sting.

2007-12-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Man do I have a story to tell.

The lack of pictures dampens my spirits though, I realise now that, hand phone cameras just do not cut it. I think having a camera at camp would have proved another gelling point in cell group.

Camp breakaway.

How can I describe it. I never understood, what breakthrough really meant, in a sense.
But camp breakaway, was a breakthrough for me.

I guess, a breakthrough means, doing things you never thought you could, going on even when you're tired, reaching a new level, changing the limits you set in your mind.

I guess breakthrough also means, when you see a dream come to pass.

It really isent something you can read or listen and understand, you have to feel it. Experience it.

To meet so many people, fervent in their love for God and people. It just blew me away. I saw how the leaders slept so little, just planning and planning, making sure everything is alright.
And i understood, why God used the word serve.

Sometimes people get caught up with the idea of a cell group leader. How glorious right? To be able to impact and influence people's lives. Who wouldnt wanna be one? People would respect you, admire you.

But with that, they miss out how, behind the scenes, the leaders plan for months. They sleep 3 hours a night. They juggle the stress of safety and fun. They ensure everyone is included. They deal with people telling them, they are doing the wrong things.

Cell group leaders lead, not for the glory, but for the serventhood.

If you're a Christian under a cell group in this place, always love your leader, always respect them. It really is a sacrifice.

I got crowned superhero of my house! Haha, not bad eh? My purple cape is on the top of my shelf, along with my newcomer award hahaha!

Oh! another occasion in the camp is definitely SHOOTING STARS!!

I dont know what occasion it was, but we saw 8 that day! Its the first time I've seen a real shooting star at night, and for the rest of us as well. You can guess how excited we were!

And they just streak across the sky. One blink, one lack of attention, and you'd have missed it!

How perfectly in season, considering we just heard " seizing your critical moment "

And I couldn't have asked for better company. All the way from a old 22-yr-old man like to me, to young 14 year old kristin. It goes to show, friendship has no age limit.

Its Hong Kong tomorrow! The city of the night. That, there will be pictures I promise. Ok tudios! I'm off to give aphro a much hate bathe!

2007-12-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

Camp breakaway is in One day!!

I really hope there would be good weather and everything will happen smoothly. There's been so much effort, so much praying.

I need a breakthrough out of certain things in my life. Perhaps last night was a good first step.

I've got enough of everything that maybe losing one wont make a difference.
Although its held a big part of my life the past few months.

But its ok , everything is better in the long run! That's what i learnt!

Hvaen't been praying as much the past few days... Maybe that's why I feel lethargic today. Praying isen't equal to serving no matter how much I serve! Gotta remember that!

Happy Birthday Queenie!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for all the times you queued, all the help you gave, all the times you spent!
Keep loving God with all your heart and soul!

The joy of the Lord if your strength, and it never fails!

Hahhaa, this entry has no format or body or structure. But I dont care!! One more day to camp!!! I'm still thinking if I should drive...

Just a few more weeks to the new year... Man, what a fast year its been.
Feb is coming Wei Fen!! Dont Gooooooooo!!! hahaha
The last few months seemed long though, long and eventful. Still, what doesnt kill me makes me Stronger!

If God can bring me to it, He can bring me through it.

Through it all. I'm sick of the dark tunnel, sick of being pulled back, sick of crippling my wings.
I'm ready to see the light now.
I wanna fly!!

:D

Oh!

Bryan come ROCK MY SOCKS

lol

I want a DSLR for christmas, bryan. Notice how I keep praising you, and reminding you that u have a Spare Camera? LOL

2007-12-06T12:32:00.000+08:00

I was browsing the net and came acoss this picture!
Way sweet! Doesnt it bring back memories?

Remember what it was like? To pray like a child?
To have innocence as your shield.

Where you didn't know anything , you have
not experience hurt, or seen an ugly side to the world?

Wont going back in time be sweet?

Then again... moving forward is not that bad
We grow up praying
We go along life praying
We grow old praying

In life, there's only one thing I think we need.
we need to ask.

2007-11-26T11:21:00.001+08:00

Is it normal that when you talk to some people, or when you read the things they write, or when you see the way the walk.

You go, whoa, that guy/girl is really proud.

If you think and feel that way. Are you judging?

Haha, I can just go Blah! Who cares.

But that would be pretending, wont it? After all, I cared enough to blogged about it.

:-D

And in the grand scheme of things, I'll rather be real. And mean the things I say.

Including stupid/silly/meaningless things that will cause people to laugh at me! Hahahaha!

Mavis would know what I'm talking about, and Mavis.
I totally REGRET TELLING YOU!!!

Muhahahahaha!!

Oh, and I miss Mel, Jasmine, Johnny, Grace, Jieqi, George and BAOTING!

I miss Joo and and Zhen a Little Bit.

And I'm waiting to bring DA Funk back to Etriplefour! One more week till my holidays

And ANd AND

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Its time to Shout Scream Roar Sing!!!!

Let the mountains tremble
As we set the fields ablaze
Put out your sickle
and harvest your field
Breathe life into dry bones
Walk on Water

Revival.

2007-11-21T16:31:00.000+08:00

I'm IN!

This marks a new start, a new opportunity. And I love new beginnings. I don't knowwhere this new path would bring me, but I believe it is going to be GOOD.

I wanna share a story. For those who do not know, when i said I'm in, i meant my church's choir ministry! Its not a simple I wanna sign up and you get in thing, there are auditions that you go to, and then u get selected.

Let's go back to the very beginning. I remember the first time I was asked what ministry I wanted to join, Choir jumped out! But I've never had a good voice, no rhythm, no tone. To me, I cant sing! But I would really like to.

But how does a person who cant sing join the choir right? That's like, asking Micheal Jordan to play soccer. I didnt share this with anyone before, but I was afraid, afraid that I would fail, and be rejected. So why try? And I remembered then, i went to help out at JAMS church. That's church for the intellectually disabled. And I was pretty blown away by the people, and how much sacrifice they could give.

I thought, Hey! Maybe this is where I belonged. And I could see myself helping out, and serving there. But you know this nagging feeling you always get? I always had it. But i went ahead and signed up for JAMS anyway.

Weeks passed and they never got back. Looking back, maybe its God's way of steering me to the place where I wanted to go? Godly desires are from God after all.

I reached a place where I thought, you know what, I want to join choir, I want to join it more then JAMS. And I should give it a shot. Even if I dont get in, I know I tried. I wanna overcome my fear, my insecurity and simply follow my heart.

I read this somewhere, I think from Yanbing's blog or msn or something. It says, Victory is won from the inside out. Overcome what's in your heart, and things around you change.

I know getting in is not that difficult. But to me, it spells a victory. Cause beneath my proud and conceited exterior, I'm more insecure then most people think. (sounds familiar) But! I know one thing, I pray and I love God. And I know he watches over me. SO no matter how insecure, how much a loser, how unworthy I THINK I am. I KNOW I'm not.

If the most powerful being ever thinks I am worthy, who am I to think I am not?

Right now, I almost feel as though I can walk on water.
And I'm gonna try.

What's to stop me?

When was the last time you had the audacity to try something you never believed you could do?

2007-11-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

Its ten! I shall blog one entry before settling down to study for math. Once again, the world amazes me at how, although it is the same physically, it differs from for every single person.

I'm currently on msn with three different people, at three different stages of their lives. It amazes me, honestly. We are all human, but why is our world so different from the rest?

Talker one is telling me how she sometimes wishes she can be like me, then suddenly drifts to how she must put her marriage on hold. And I go thinking, whoa, she's only been dating for just over a year and she's thinking of marriage? Her reply goes like that, my MR right ba.

Isent is nice to hear people who still believe in that? Still, different eyes see the world differently. She's only 21! I personally think thats kinda young to get married. Still.

Ok second is Huanxin, how can anyone just chuck everything aside? And focus so much on studies, and career and an awesome future? Its as though he never gets hit by emotional problems, emptiness or anything! Its just study hard, get honors, and soar in ur career.

How does he do it?

Third is Joshua. Once again planning hard so that everything would go smoothly in cell group, in service, in church. He belongs to a grp of people so passionate about God and church, I feel like a wilting flower in comparison. Just so hungry for more for what they can do for God.

This three people seemed like the core beliefs of my life. God, Success ( work ) , Love.

I guess my perfect would be like a triangle, with me in between. Along the way though, it seems like I would always tilt to one end and neglect the other. One end would edify me, while another would consume me. While I am succeeding in in work, i seem to be tortured by the lack of God or love, and it works in all three ways.

I like work, for how it lets me forget everything. For how it makes me feel proud, knowing that I can hold my head up high and how it makes people look up to me. I like how when i succeed in school, I get a bright outlook of how my work life, and money life is gonna be like.

I like Love, for how it can make me feel happier beyond all sensible boundaries. How it makes me feel the world is beautiful, how it makes me wanna run and shout and tell the everyone I know, what an awesome feeling it is.

I love God, for how when work and love and the world fails. He's always there. How when i feel down and out and useless, I know I am not. The last refuge, the eagle's wings.

I want my life to be like a sepia toned photograph of a guy and a girl sitting on their balcony, which faces the sea, watching the rising of the sun. With hints of shadows, of the angels watching over them.

2007-11-09T06:27:00.000+08:00

The time is now 620am, 9th of november. It is a friday, and the morning is not yet here. The glow ina distance, hints at the rising of the sun.

I want to remember this time for life.

Because I've just had a nightmare.

Its not a dream of witches and demons chasing me. It's worse.

In my dream, I realised everything I lived for and everything I believed in. A story that I've heard, a person that I believed. It turned out to be a lie. In the dream, I was the only one oblivious to it all. I was the only one, who didnt know the truth.

In my dream, I saw a lie that festered and came to life. A situation that I've been dreading, finally approaches.

And in my dream, I broke.

And I know now, at this moment right here. I need to refocus, My nose and eyes needs to be faced skyward once again.

It was so real. The kind of dreams that did not drift from scene to scene. Each scene made sense. No, I cant promise myself that the situation or event or day would not come. But I know I can make myself stronger today. I know that the fingers curled around a desire can uncurl and let go.

In my dream, I broke.

For the first time in my life, I woke up scared and stayed that way.

In my dream, I broke.

I say No.

In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke through the darkness and lifted me
And I know you'll never let me go

In the storm in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
And I know you'll never let me go

Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
Your love I will follow
Be my guide, your will be done
Oh Lord

In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
And I know you'll never let me go

Oh love I surrender, now forever I'll be loved
In the love of the father, you are faithful you are strong
So hold me now, hold me now, hold me now

Nothing in this life has walked these streets
Love opened my eyes show me what you see
And I know I'll never let you go

2007-11-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

Dear you

I dont know what to say or how to say it. Its hard. But music never fails does it?
Would you listen and read?

"Become"

There's so much more about you that you never let them see
You turn away
But not to me
And I know how they tried to take you
Held you up and meant to break you down
But you can't be

For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

Brush back your hair and look around you
Feeling like the truth has found you here
You're here with me
Let love become the mirror
With no fear where you're from
You have become beautiful

2007-10-24T16:46:00.000+08:00

If you only do what you can do then you're only ever going to do what you can do!
But, if you start to do what you cannot do, you'll find you can do what you cannot do.

And what you absolutely cannot do, God will do, or a team of incredible people will, who are attracted to the person attempting to do what they cannot do.

Don't imagine God will ask you to do what you can do! He asks you to do what you can't do.
Then you'll need Him to do it! But you're the one who starts the impossible dream.

No-one, not even God, gets inspired by the mediocre.
Attempt the impossible, ignore the critics, attract the best, accomplish the unbelievable!

Don't you love this sentence. No one, not even God gets inspired by mediocre.
Inspire.
I like this word.

2007-10-21T11:46:00.000+08:00

So this week, a discussion of platonic relationships came up. A case of man vs woman, sex vs friendship, Harry vs Sally. It got me thinking once again. ( big surprise there huh? ) Curiosity set up camp, and I just had to know. Could it really be? For those who don't know what it is. Platonic relationship is described as thus.

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is a non-sexual affectionate relationship, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual (i.e. overtly romantic) friendship.

But Wait! There's more.
At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on lack of interest but on spiritual transmutation of the sex force, opening up vast expanses of subtler enjoyments than sex.

( ok from this point on, I thought it's kinda bull, but well, its part of the explaination. )

In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness ( phft ) that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friendships are beautiful, wonderful things. You’ll see. :)

I borrowed this off my friend's blog. A believer I would say. Nina; my English teacher, said Harry met Sally is a movie about a platonic friendship between two people. Another believer?

I pondered over the movie for a while. Why did Harry end up loving Sally? Why did Sally made love to Harry when they were still friends. When they had sex as friends, they said it was the biggest mistake they could have make, and yet, looking back. Was it not the thing most right that they could have done?

In the movie, Harry started off expressing interest in Sally. Sally was not interested, but hoped for friendship cause he was the only person she knew in New York. Harry does not believe in platonic friendship. They argued over it, and came to no conclusion.

Both went on to have relationships. Harry got married, while Sally got into a non-marriage-commitment relationship ( because she believes all marriages end up with passion dying, and doomed for failure. ) In this we see, Harry believes in marriage, sally doesnt.

Both relationships failed. Harry gives in and decides, what the heck, lets give this friendship a try. They embark on that. During this time, Harry admits he is sad, tries hard, and eventually moves on. Sally says she is not sad over her breakup and that she has moved on. Harry does not seem to think so.

Sally realised her ex was getting married, she cries , and calls Harry over. In a moment of weakness, they kiss and have sex. They both thought it was a mistake. Both avoided each other until New Year's eve, when Harry realized that he did indeed love her. Rushed over, and poured his heart open. So ten years after Harry met Sally, they fell in love, and got together.

Harry Burn's first words come true.

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

Harry Met Sally wasnt about friendship, it was about love.

Does it matter? No, not really. I'm just stating my stand :-D

Because regarding these things. Really now.

Noone really knows how things would turn out eventually anyway. That privilege is reserved for father time.

Who knows.

There really might be goblins and gnomes in our gardens.
There might really be a talking squirrel.
Or maybe even the tooth fairy.

Being real, is simply just believing hard enough.
And I guess, everything deserves a try at least.
Everything.

2007-10-12T15:45:00.000+08:00

I realize that life is moving too fast to blog down!

I realize too that I have a short memory.

There seems to be too many things going on, too many people to talk to, too many memories to remember. I honestly wish two things, that I could multiply the number of persons I have ( imagine ten Chrises ) or I can multiply time! ( imagine 48 hour days )

And i'm pretty sure you guys would prefer the latter :-D

I've teared down the three Japanese kites from my wall. Making way for my new present! Photographs would proceed once its up. I wonder if I should nail it, or should i use those stick on pegs. I fear they might not be strong enough though, but putting holes on my wall? No no no

Anyway, people are funny creatures. As long as I live, I can never truly understand them. How can you be nice one moment, emotional the next, and sensitive yet the next? How can you drift from friends to lovers to friends to enemies and to whatever next?

How can you freak out, and yet fall once again? :-D What a crazy mad world! That's what makes it interesting doesnt it?

How can a person care when she's a thousand miles away? How can a person be gorgeous, write well, posses an amazing voice, pays a killer French horn, have a lovely smile, have the whole world of guys loving her and yet got her heart broken?

How can anyone not love God?

Gee, I foresee one of my oh-so-typical philosophical entries once again. Adolescence. Hahaha

So something interesting happened, two things people said to me got me thinking. Let's go to this first one first.

I said " hey, what happened, are you angry again? " And the reply? " How did you know? How can you tell. "

That got me thinking, am I really able to feel what people feel? Some people get that gift, but for me. Am I really sensing it? Or has it been good guesses so far? A bad read into emotions gets you hurt, as I recently discovered. But what if maybe, it has been a spot-on read?

There are times, when I said to myself, maybe i sensed it wrong. Maybe i'm being too sensitive, ok I'm giving up or ok I'm too sensitive. But after the events, when everything was over, when time revealed his secrets. I find out that what I felt, what I thought another person felt, what I thought caused an event, turned out to be a Yes!

If that's true, wont it be scary? Wont it be sad? If I didnt try for something I belive in? Or if I felt something was wrong and I didnt try to ask and solve it? What if fear stopped me from walking down the dark road, but at the end, it was what I was searching for?

Life should be simpler. Or Maybe I should think less.

Ok second event. Connected to the first. ok, nvm... This I shall not say. Let me be annoying. But its about someone talking about SMSing. And I still feel something doesnt connect, something is not clear, something stirs my insides and I'm left wanting and wondering.

Hahaha, ANYWAY... Lets put some whimsical nonsense here! Introducing................

SMILE SQUAD!!!!!!!!!

Ok, its not that whimsical and not that nonsensical. But hey! There I am in the middle. That's cool enough. Hahahahahahhahaha!!

A new week ahead! Let the fun BEGIN!

2007-10-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

I couldn't thank everyone enough for today.

This year has been the most special yet!

I dont have to blog anything down, cause its just one of those days that you know you'll remember for life.

2007-10-06T08:39:00.000+08:00

2007-10-06T03:23:00.001+08:00

I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain
to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
to believe in me again

I cant walk forward, with my head looking back. To stop some thing from holding you back, the only way is to let go.

God, keep me safe in a crazy world.

2007-10-02T01:57:00.000+08:00

Dont ever misread the signs.

No matter how good you think you are at reading them.

Cynicism.

How ironic.

Emo post eh? Just today, I promise.

2007-09-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

Its a rainy morning. Grey clouds, cool breeze. Lazy Sunday.

There's something about Sundays that makes it special. Like, its so restful, that on this day, u can sleep and bum and rest the whole day, and you wont feel tired, you wont get the feeling that says, Argh! another day wasted.

Nope, Sunday is official. Spell it r.e.s.t

Which was exactly what i needed.

What a crazy week, what an awesome week too though. But I shall not go into details, hahaha

Anyway, since I am blogging, what's an entry without pictures! Introducing.................................................................................... MY KIDS! Tuition kids that is.

Hahaha, look at how MOTIVATED he is. That's right, i motivate him. Hahahaha

His name is called Desmond. Only Primary 1. ok Next!

Jun Da from China. He was game to take a photo with me. He is super respectful of me! Not like Desmond. Always greet me Lao Shi, and walk me out. Polite eh?

Just Look at that focus! * clap clap clap *

But he's not doing well! I don't understand. I just don't. Ah well, off to the next event! haha

Kelly Chin's BIRTHDAY!

And then, we set out on a perilous journey to Century Square! And contrary to not-as-popular-as-I-would-like belief. It is NOT Square, and NOT a century old.

Hahaha, no no no no * wags finger * dont you dare roll your eyes at me. Hahhahaha!!!

BUT GUESS WHAT!! Argh, the WORSE THING EVER happened when we reached the food court.

Curry Chicken was sold out.

Time stood still. Imagine my surroundings darkening. Not a sound. And an echo sounded out.

" Ah Di Ah, Curry Chicken Mai Wan le. "

Tsk Tsk.

And that was how Saturday had passed. Anyway I just got home from cell group and the message was about Barnabas.

Son of encourager. The message speaks of how we should Always encourage the people aorund us. Which is something I really believe in!

I remember just talking to my brother and telling him how sloppy he looked. I told him, you should sit up, have a good posture and look good! Because when you are outside, people look. Impressions count!

And he went, ahh.. It doesnt matter to me what people think.

Yeah, it shouldn't, and it doesn't! I replied him. But I told him this. It is NOT about what people think of you. When you dress up, when you excel in the things you set your heart upon, when you strive to be the best you can be. You inspire people to do the same. You inspire them to believe that they can be better.

Its not about our own inadequacy. It's about being a candle that brings that flicker of light. Salt that adds flavor to the earth.

I think this quote says it best.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Lovely.

So that ends my weekend. What a week eh?

Through the seven days though. Friday kinda stood out.

A perfect morning, a perfect afternoon.
It felt like a bubble amidst the craziness of this world.

A wacky new week ahead! Let me be, I pray. The manifestation of God's glory.

2007-09-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

To me, I wont say I am too into music. I'm not too into photography. I'm not too into literature.

They are awesomely cool though... And I wished that I could tell people that I did know something about them. That I knew something about the theories or music, or how the light blends and make perfect angles. I wish I could discuss the how certain of authurs could bend and twist emotions.

I'm not Into these things, but I love them! I love the music, literature and photography because in them, I get to look at the world through the eyes of another. To get a whole new perspective!

When I listen to music, sure! I enjoy the melody, but more often then not, I notice the lyrics. When I look at pictures, I dont just think, hey , this looks cool, it looks clear and crisp.

I like the emotions photography brings, I like the stories behind it.
( eh Joo? haha )I like imagining, if I was there at that moment, what would I feel? What would i do?

And in that context. I Especially love books. What better way to live the life of another, through words.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here, let me show u what i mean. Get the message :D

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives

I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

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All these images are from http://www.pulitzer.org/. They were the winners for featured photography and breaking news phatography.

Wounded in an aerial bombing of Baghdad and seeking aid, Iraqi civilians raise their hands pleadingly toward advancing troops of the 3rd Infantry Division. (Photo by David Leeson)

After three weeks and 300-plus miles of speed-and-maneuver warfare, Master Gunnery Sgt. Frank Cordero savors the first letters from his wife, Melissa. "I held that first one for about five minutes...Just to smell it and hold it." (Photo by Cheryl Diaz Meyer)

Squad leader and Staff Sgt. Lonnie Roberts stands at attention as troops from the 3rd Brigade Combat Team pay last respects to their fallen comrade, Pvt. Gregory Huxley, during a memorial for the 19-year-old in Baghdad. (Photo by David Leeson)

Baghdad - The mother of Samah Hussein grieves over the body at a Baghdad morgue. The boy was among 12 people reportedly killed by a suicide car bombing outside the U.S. military's Camp Cuervo. (Photo by Samir Mizban, June 13, 2004.)

Fallujah - U.S. Marines pray over a fellow Marine killed while fighting insurgent strongholds. (Photo by Murad Sezer, April 8, 2004.)

The story of a mother

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Love and sadness, peace and war, joy and agony. The laughter of play, and the turmoil of death. You've almost seen it all, through pictures, through song, through words.

There. You've been in and out of Love, you've seen a war, you've lived the life of a mother with a dying child.

What's your life I wonder. You who is reading this. I wanna know!

There is one more picture though. I saved this for last. It's named...

Treasure this Hope.

2007-09-07T01:02:00.000+08:00

Such slick moves.

Haha, i lose!

and i'm out of this game.

Its been fun and complicating whilst it lasted.

But a rollercoaster's only fun that many times.

Oh, and i love my cell grp members, if only we could get to fellowship more.

Love and sacrifice, dreams and encouragement, fire and revival.
Upon your shoulders
upon your hearts
upon your spirit and soul
upon every part.

2007-09-05T15:54:00.000+08:00

I know that sometimes when you fail tests, you got to retake them.

But I made that choice, I made that right one!

Why do i keep retaking it?

and why does it get harder each time?

I'm sick of it. Sick at how hard it gets. Why must doing the right thing always be this hard?

Geez. Whatever.

2007-09-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

so a TON of things have been happening.

School started
Mel left for canada
Joo graduated
we merged with E110
SOTM is finished
BT is pregnent

tons of big event, tons of memories. A great big ending to somethings, a promising new start to another.

I guess I've not been blogging alot cause, i've had people around me to release my emotions and thoughts, and I didnt have any residue feelings or burdens in my heart to release online.

And yeah, not that there's alot of things bad/good that has happened, but there has been alot of ppl around for me to plough forward with.

I've gotten to know a few new friends recently, some totally new, some i've seen around. I'm excited to see where these new relationships bring me, spiritually, mentally, and well, friendshipwise!

I love knowing new people, entering a whole new world, a whole new perspective, a whole new outlook. For new friends in church, i love seeing how different people love a similar God...

And I like the inspiration these people bring. Evan, joshua, wendy, queenie and basically the E110ians. I esp love Evan. She's really one of the most giving persons i know, honest. I can really understand how joshua and queenie can be such giving people! They have an awesome example to follow...

Anyway, you know how ppl have various weaknesses right? These weeks, have really been a test and a challenge on my weakness. A tough test, that keeps recurring and recurring.

But like what Dave( if i'm not wrong ) said. Sometimes, you just got to Forcfully go the Distance. And when your flesh says I wanna give up. Let your spirit say Let's go on for just ONE MORE DAY.

One by one I'll get there... And what I give up, surely God will make up for it. And i really sincerely do believe that.

Today, I saw someone dear came to church... i saw a little bit of my prayers answered
today :-) To you who know who you are.

It's so tough, but let's go the distance. let's go through this together!

2007-08-21T13:31:00.000+08:00

All it takes is one look, and you can never really forget.

2007-08-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

So anyway i was reading seowchean's blog and she blogged a testimonial. So I shall too!!

As u all know, and in case u dont. I love Chicken Curry noodles. I LOVE them. And My favorite one is the Bedok interchange one.

You know, where they chop the chicken. The other one i know is at marina square food court. I wish i was those food bloggers kind then i can take picture show u all...

So anyways. I was craving for chicken curry noodle a few weeks back, and telling everyone about it. And i cheekily said to God, Ahh.. wont it be great if i could have chicken noodle right now? Oh God I wanna eat chicken curry noodle man!

You know how it is. You chit chat with the great divine daddy-o . And you tell him what u want.

Well guess what! A bowl of chicken curry noodle just appeared at my kitchen! It must have flown from heaven!! Not.

You're probably expecting something like, my mom out of the blue buy the chicken curry noodle for me right?

Weelll... no. Actually nothing happened. I did get to eat to noodle, but i traveled to marina square for it. And so... I forgot about the fact i was asking God for it.

Until last week.

When i realised that....................................................................................... * long pause *

A. Curry. Chicken. Noodle. STORE OPENED AT YIO CHU KANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check that out.

2007-07-30T02:18:00.000+08:00

Its 2.18, and i couldnt get to sleep.

I wonder if anyone's still up? Of course, in this time and age, i could just check msn.

Let's see, I have 26 "friends" online.

But none whom i feel like talking to. Gee, I'm really bored.

There's two pillows on my bed and one quilt and one blanket.

A total of 5 books are on my table now.

I'm using a JBL speaker and a Macroview moniter.

I have a miniature salt and pepper schnauzer named aphro.

It's a she.

I love Aphro.

Ya'all reading this better love her too.

Haha, good night.

2007-07-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

Noone stood beside behind above or beneath me.
But one stood right in front
that i could not contain it anymore
for the love overflowed
and the things of the world faded away

You know, its been a long time since I've truly blogged an emotion filled entry. But today, I just felt I had to.

I've been going church for 1 year going on two now. I wont say that's a very long time, but its a long enough time for me to know most of the songs, to know the styles of preaching, to know the system of what comes next. It's long enough to make me feel confidant, to make me know the 'methods' and 'signs' of a healthy cell grp. Its a long enough time for me to know when there's a mistake done on stage, and its a long enough time that I know or feel if the spiritual atmosphere is good or not.

Its a long enough time for me to know all these things.
It's a long enough time for me to get used to all these things.

but

it was also a long enough time, to forget what coming to church meant to me...

And today... as pastor prayed, I remembered.

I remembered how it felt, when i first came to know God, the first weeks when i worshiped God. How i didnt not know the words, the lyrics, the sequence, the moves. How I must have seemed like the most awkward and wierd person there, beating the jump beat and jumping when i was not supposed to.

But back then... I knew the love I had for Him, and I knew the love He had for me... My mouth might not have been loud and my singing might not confidence, my jumps and claps might have been out of beat. But in my heart, I was worshiping with such joy, such love!

And i remembered the tears that flowed. The tears that flowed, not because someone back slided and I was sad. Not because I felt my burdens lifted up by God, Not from or of the bad things that seem to happen in my life.

I felt the tears flow because, God was so near! Because I felt so close to him, my tears flowed because I was touched... That at that moment, at this moment, there wasnt a person on my left or right, there wasnt a person in front or behind me anymore...

But it was just us....... Just me and Him...

And things that seemed to matter so so much.
Would just became so so small.

Somehow, along the way, I seemed to have forgotten all these...

But it came back... and i remembered...

Me and abba. That's all that matters, really.

TAKE ME TO THE PLACE

WHERE THE SPIRIT OF GOD IS

HOLY GHOST, EMPOWER ME

RUN WITH THE GOSPEL

I'LL CARRY REVIVAL

THE LOVE OF CHRIST

WILL SET YOU FREE

2007-07-13T12:41:00.000+08:00

Song title: Oceans Will Part

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand

Oceans will part, nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise, glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
To the work of Your hand

2007-07-13T10:48:00.001+08:00

Jasmine Tan, take a break :-)

See it to belive it

2007-07-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

Jasmin Tan Fusion, this is for you. Haha enjoy

2007-07-04T21:54:00.000+08:00

Your smiles, your pearly whites
Your words, ah the delight!
Like Red roses,
gorgeous to see
Hidden thorns, ugly glee

Why then admire,
Why then touch?
Why bother? When it draws fresh blood?
The pain though not immense,
hurts the heart, oh the Heart!

Why then admire?
Why then touch?
Why bother? When it draws fresh blood?

Cause a gardener I am,
and dear plant, you're my friend.

That's why I admire,
that's why I touch.
That's why I bother,
though it sometimes hurts the heart.

Because I believe. Oh yes i do.
That one day you would bloom
One day, one day soon
A day in a bride's loving hands,
lovely and beautiful,
with no more thorns pricking,
No More, amen.

2007-07-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

MAVIS GOT ME FRIENDS DVD SERIES!!

AHH!!!

Mavis. I love you.

2007-06-30T11:55:00.000+08:00

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said,"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group was called The BEATLES.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency,told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married." She went on and became MARILYN MONROE.

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." He went on to become the most popular singer in America named ELVIS PRESLEY.

When ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"

When THOMAS EDISON invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."

In the 1940s, another you ng inventor named CHESTER CARLSON took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down.
In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! He finally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today.

WILMA RUDOLPH was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg.
At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle.
That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

The Moral of the above Stories : Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS!

- an email from angel low date july 22nd 2002 -

Never Quit.

Love

2007-06-22T00:29:00.000+08:00

I wanna blog about love.

I hit my dad's car today. And the rear light casing broke. And i had to tell my mom and dad. You know, i imagined how badly I would be scolded but they were pretty understanding bout it, haha thank God.

And word got out that my car was hit. The messages came pouring in. And you know what. I really felt loved.

I remembered when I first stepped into W171. I was told, this is a cell group that loves. It wasnt a Dreams and visions and lets go to war and kill the devil cell group. It was a love cell grp.

Loving God is only half of the great commandment. You can love God to the greatest and best you can. But if you dont love the people around you, regardless of how they are.

Whats the point? No matter how much u love God, it'll only be at fifty percent max.

Jun yu- your actions really speak louder then words could, your enthusiasm, your passion, it stirs me up. And the way you showed your concern for me really shows how much u care.

Kelly, junyu, seow chean, bing, colin and anyone else who messaged me that i might have forgotten. Thanks.

" Noone cares how much you know. Until they know how much you care. "

I happened to read through getting started. And one point jumped out, " you need encouragement to grow. "

Here's mine

refresh

2007-06-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

I woke up today, and for the first time in days. I felt Light hearted.

I remember the skies being cloudy, and it was a cold morning. I was asleep on the massage chair. ( YES I slept there). And i had a pillow and it served as a blanket as well.

I remember telling myself its so dark, it must be early. And I looked at the time, and it was 9 plus!
Late! For my standards of waking up anyway.

I remember groggily walking to the bathroom and brushing my teeth before leashing my dog and bringing her for a walk.

And as most people know, i love walks. The past few days when I was heavy hearted, I just walked hastily and once my dog did her poop , I would go home. But today, for some reason, I was looking at my dog once again, and how energetic she was, how excited! And I was thinking to myself, its the SAME OLD PLACE! The same old grass, the same old area. But somehow aphro would never get tired or bored or sick of it.

And there were some birds, and i unleashed her and look at aphro run and chase them. So happy.

And I thought of how my life changed, I thought of how so many close close friends were so far. I thought of the close close frens who were still so near. I thought of E444, E345, and of course W171.

Things change, people change, circumstances changed, dreams changed, my world changed.

I looked into the sky.

And you know what? The sky was the same.

The sky's the same.

And I dont know why, my heart was light once again. It doesnt make sense I know. I mean, the sky's the same? Whats up with that?

But I dont know. The sky's still the same, and I'm happy.

If all else fades, if all things fail, if everyone leaves. Would you still love me the same?
When the dark clouds come, when the thunder roars, when the rain drenches you spirits
When you heart is heavy, your spirit is lowly, your soul is lonely.
Would you still love me the same?
Would you?

I looked at the sky, and its still the same.
I looked at my heart.
My heart shall be like the sky.
It'll remain the same.

Then clouds would come, and weigh down your heart. The thunders would roar and the rain would drench your spirits.
But through your heart, your sky, the earth shall be watered.

The Sun would scorch your heart like how it heats up the sky. Burning.
But through your heart, your sky, the earth shall once again be bright, shone up by the sun.

The winds would ravage and confuse you. Tearing and tossing. Laughing and mocking.
But through your heart, your sky, the earth swept by a mighty wind.

someone special

2007-06-18T00:05:00.000+08:00

" Make him smile again... "

I really thought that was the sweetest thing in the world.

And its things like these, that makes the difference between the normal and the special ones.

Seems like I lost a huge chunk of of my heart that night.
The shape of a star.

hai

2007-06-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

I wonder when the joy has left
When the joy began
I wonder when the whispers started
when the whispers end

sorrowful.
sorrowful.
sorrowful.

I beseeched the heavens to take me away
far away so far away
To a time once was.
To a time will be.

sorrowful.
sorrowful.
sorrowful.

A perfect time
A perfect place
to learn a perfect lesson
at a perfect pace

but i dont see it now
how it makes me tall
how it makes me bigger
cause it makes me feel so small

Break away.

My Freedom
My Love
My fustrations
My fear

Jasmine

2007-06-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

I talked to Jasmine on the phone just now for 45mins.

Hahahaha, there u go jas. Something to read in ur spare time.

tmt

2007-05-21T17:15:00.000+08:00

I have too much time on my hands.

I'm friendster surfing, can u imagine?! Friendster surfing?!

Everyday starts like this. I wake up, i eat breakfast, i sleep/surf/watch tv/ until 12, I eat lunch, I send my dad to physio/acupuncture, I reach home at 5, surf/watch tv till 6, eat dinner, surf/watch tv/call people, then I sleep.

I wake up and restart the cycle.

Argh, Can u imagine how boring this is?! I'm getting fat, I'm getting stupid from lack of brain stimulation, and I am not having fun!

to top that off, I'm having stomachaches now so i cant even enjoy eating.

I gotta set my goals up again, move move move oh lazy body of mine.

No more suppers ( Which I dont really enjoy in the first place. ) , No more sleep ( Which always makes me more tired ) , No more random surfing ( which I still feel bored )

Exercise! Reading! Learning!

Off with the old me!

1. Jog
2. Swim thrice a week
3. Get a economics book and get started
4. sign up for a course

Come on Chris! You only live ONCE!

Ok good, now I'm pumped up :)
I needed this.

Anyway, to motivate myself.

Marielle jogs 2-3 huge rounds around the field EVERYDAY, since I last saw her, she has lost 3 or 5 ( I cant remember ) KGs, based on her own determination.

Joo joined SOT inspite of the odds that are against her, going one step closer to her dream, to her calling.

Huanxin scared a 4.something in his aggregate for uni so far, maintaining himself as one of the top students in uni. A student from a neighbourhood, gangster secondary school and the louiest JC at our time. He has proven, its never the environment that determines what you achieve.

Yong Heng is a cell grp leader at 19.

Benard, Jasmine, Yanbing started their own online business. And to top it off, Yanbing started her buisness at 16!!! And earned a substantial amount, which I would not disclose. But if you knew, you would Definitely be humbled.

Ah Bong pays for her own tuition fees, living expense, and overseas exchange program.
She teaches tuition and working at a pub until late at night. And inspite of the burden she carries, she is one of th most generous people I know, never hesitating to spend money to do things we want, even though the stuff we eat or do might be expensive.

My life is surrounded by inspirational people.

So tell me, if you're reading this. What's the greatest thing you did so far in your life?

:-)